Another World Inside Of me
by Normal-is-Overratedx
Summary: Kate was shot...Wasn't she? Could it be a dream? Or maybe she's dreaming now, either way...Waking up and finding out you're married, have two kids, a stepdaughter and a baby on the way can be pretty freaking frightening. AU. Hint of Knockout spoilers.
1. Hold Me When I'm Here

**Authors Note:** _So, I know I shouldn't be starting ANYTHING until I update my other FFs. But I can't help it. Ever since the the Castle Final, I've had ideas roaming around in my brain, and reading others to get my fix...This popped into my head. Should I continue with it? Yeah, i know it's short for a first chapter, but I felt this was a good place to leave off for now. (:_

**Summary:** Kate was shot...Wasn't she? Could it be a dream? Or maybe she's dreaming now, either way...Waking up and finding out you're married, have two kids, a stepdaughter and a baby on the way can be pretty freaking frightening. 

**Spoilers:** Just the end of the season final of Knockout, but really not that much. Mainly hints. xD

**Disclaimer: **This is just the depressing part. I don't own Castle. :C

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><p><strong>Another World Inside Of Me<strong>

**Chapter One**

**Hold Me When I'm Here**

"_Stay with me, Okay?_"

Pain. Searing pain, and tears that fall on their own accord.

"_Kate-, I love you. I love you, Kate..._"

A faint smile, and then darkness...

**-C-B-**

Kate Beckett awoke with a jolt, sweat beading from her forehead and drenching her body. Her hands clutched the comforter as she panted heavily. Confusion washed over her, as she glanced around the room. It felt so real, and-Wait...She was not in her room, this was not her room.

"Mom, I got-" the door swung open and Alexis appeared in the doorway, though she stopped in her tracks as she noted the contorted expression and sweat clinging to Kate's face. "Mom, are you alright? Are you sick? Is the baby okay?" The questions flowed out of the young red head's mouth like a waterfall. "Wait-," Kate wasn't sure if she had heard correctly, she looked around to make sure that Alexis wasn't talking to some unknown person in the room. No one. She turned her head back to look at Alexis who had a worried expression adorning her delicate features. "...What?" Was all Kate could say.

Alexis walked over to the bed and took a seat beside Kate, cringing back slightly at the dampness that surrounded her mother. "M-Maybe we should take you to the doctor. You're all pale and you soaked the sheets." Her brows scrunched up with worry. Kate visibly swallowed and shook her head.

"Alexis...I-" She was cut off as a sudden movement inside her caused her to jump slightly. She looked down, and that was when some of what Alexis had said registered. _Is the baby okay? _Kate's hands moved to her ever growing middle and her face grew ashen. She was pregnant? With who's baby? What the hell was going on here? Her thoughts were interrupted as two sets of little giggles came from outside the door.

Kate watched as Alexis turned her head to the door. Two heads poked around the door frame and a matching pair of smiling faces greeted her. "Mommy, Lexis maded pancakes." the twin boy and girl said in unison. Kate felt dizzy. _Mommy? _Surely these two kids were mistaken. They had the wrong person. That thought died as the two 5 year olds climbed up on the bed next to their older sister. Kate finally noticed the pictures around the room.

One framed photo on her nightstand caught her eye. She noted the happy expressions of herself, Alexis and...Castle? Alexis was standing in front of them, she looked so young. Maybe 9 or 10? Kate had had her arms around the girl's shoulders and Castle had his arms wrapped around her waist, his chin on her shoulder. They seemed to be at the park. Another photo that was on the wall grabbed her attention.

There she was, her side to the camera and Alexis in front of her. They both had their heads bowed, and smiles were adorning their faces. Alexis had her hands placed on Kate's rather large belly with Kate's hands over hers.

Kate felt so overwhelmed. Why couldn't she remember any of this, why was everything so fuzzy? Her eyes traveled to the next picture. This picture was of Kate in a hospital bed, holding two babies. She looked tired and weak but the smile on her face was of true happiness. Alexis was in the bed next to her, leaning into Kate, while Castle stood on Kate's side of the bed, grinning from ear to ear, his arms wrapped around Kate's shoulders and reaching over to Alexis.

"What's wrong with mommy, Lexis?" The brown headed little boy broke her thoughts and she brought her gaze to the two five year olds on her bed. It was then she noticed that they were fraternal twins, and she could certainly see the similarity that she, and Castle shared with them. They both looked more like her, than Castle; However, the little boy shared a lot more traits with his father, than his sister. Kate noted that the little boy had her eyes, while the little girl had his. She smiled suddenly and tears sprung into her eyes.

The little girl crawled over to her and hesitantly touched her mother's cheek. "Don't cry mommy..." Kate brought her hand up to cover the little girl's hand and her heart felt like it was going to explode. That was when Alexis gently picked up her little brother and held out her hand to her sister.

"Mommy isn't feeling well, guys. Why don't you go color her a get well picture?" Alexis smiled at her siblings and helped the little girl jump off of the bed, but not before she placed a wet kiss on Kate's cheek.

"Okay!" They both said in unison. Kate brought her hands to her face and rubbed it tiredly.

Once the twins were gone, Alexis turned to face her mother. "Okay, seriously. Mom, do I need to drive you to the hospital? Are you okay?" she looked seriously worried as she took her seat back next to Kate.

For a while, Kate was unable to find her voice. When she finally did, it sounded weak and scared. "N-No. I just...I had a nightmare..."

Alexis only looked half satisfied with that answer. She sighed and stood up, holding out both her hands. "Well, come on. Let me help you change the sheets and stuff." She offered, a small smile creasing her lips. Kate stared at her hands for a moment before hesitantly taking them. She suddenly realized how uncomfortable she was feeling sticky.

"Thanks..." Kate replied softly as she watched her stepdaughter nod. She wanted to ask her so many questions, but these questions would make her sound insane...Which, she didn't put that idea past her. It certainly did feel like she was losing her mind. She couldn't remember anything up till now, and the things she did remember, didn't make sense with the world she was in right now. She tried to think of a way to ask the things she needed to know, like for instance; What were the twins' names? Where was Castle? When did-How did? So many questions...


	2. Right Me When I'm Wrong

**Authors Note:** _So all of your feedback and massive alerts is what produced the second chapter so quickly. In case you were wondering, the title and chapter names are inspired by the song 'Love me when I'm gone' by 3 doors down. (: I'm actually making a music video with it, but anyway. I LOVED all your feedback even if most of it was just alerts and what-not. I've got a lot of ideas roaming around in my head. So I hope you continue to enjoy it! Be sure to tell me what you think, it makes me writer faster. C: teehee. ;D  
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**Disclaimer:** If I owned Castle, the final season would NOT have ended like that. |: AOSJISOFDJO

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

**Right Me When I'm Wrong**

After changing the sheets with Alexis, Kate decided to take a hot bath and soak her tense body. "I'll get the twins fed, you just rest." Alexis insisted as she shut the bathroom door, cutting off a chance to protest. Kate sighed and closed her eyes, rolling her shoulders and leaning down to turn the water on. Once the water was running, she slowly undressed and walked slowly toward the small closet inside the bathroom where she assumed the towels resided. She was right. She grabbed a towel and set it on the countertop, her eyes suddenly catching her reflection in the mirror.

For the second time this morning, Kate felt tears threaten to break through. The small baby bump was prominent on her naked form. She looked down from her reflection, to her belly and wrapped her arms around her middle. She wondered how far along she was, wondered if they knew the sex. Had she and Castle already come up with a name? Where was Castle anyway?

Kate took one last long glance in the mirror, studying her form before she forced herself away and sat on the edge of the claw footed tub, waiting for the water to warm up. Once she was satisfied with the temperature, she plugged the drain and glanced around the bathroom. She smiled as she spotted her favorite bath scents and candles set about the large bathroom.

After adding her bubbles and favorite scents, and lighting the candles, Kate carefully stuck her foot inside the tub. Slowly, she sank into the bubbles, her body instantly relaxing. Before Kate could close her eyes, she jerked slightly at the sudden movement inside her. She still wasn't used to that feeling. It was like bubbles popping inside her tummy. The baby must be reacting to the sudden temperature change, Kate thought.

She tried not to let her emotions rise up again at the thought of there being a small human growing inside her. Kate began to absentmindedly trace shapes on her ever growing belly, soothing the movement she felt inside of her. She didn't notice what she was doing until the movements subsided, and she smiled as she looked down at her hand as it seemed to move on it's own accord. It was like an automatic, she noticed. She was amazed at how much love she felt for this baby, even though she couldn't even remember it's conception. It was like she was just finding out she was pregnant. None the less, she was in love with this child. Hell, when she realized the twins were hers it was like her heart had been hiding the love she felt for them until she knew that she was the one who gave birth to them. It was just...Instant.

Alexis. Kate had always cared for Alexis, but it was like she suddenly felt closer to the girl now. Every time the teenager called Kate 'mom', her stomach flipped a thousand times over and her heart fluttered like a bird trapped in a cage. Another instant love that she felt. It was all so strange. Kate's mind drifted to Castle as she closed her eyes.

**-C-B-**

Alexis set a plate of blueberry pancakes on the table for each twin. She then grabbed the syrup from the center of the table and poured some on her little sister's plate, and then on her little brother's. The little boy looked up with wrinkled brows when Alexis stopped and capped the bottle. "Sissy, more syrup, pwease?" He gave her a lopsided grin and batted his eyelashes, giving her the best puppy dog face he could muster up.

The older sibling chuckled and shook her head. "Matty, you know mom doesn't like you pinging off the walls. That's a fine amount of syrup." Alexis poked her little brother's nose. Mathew sighed and pouted.

"I want more syrup." He grumbled, his brows creasing as he frown. Alexis sighed and took her seat at the head of the table, pouring a bit of syrup for herself and setting it back down in the center of the table. Mathew pushed his plate aside, clearly refusing to eat.

"Mathew, if you don't eat now you wont have anything until lunch." Alexis warned, eyebrows raised. The little boy sighed dramatically and set his elbow on the table so his cheek could fall in the palm of his hand while he forked his pancakes. Alexis rolled her eyes and shook her head, she then brought her gaze to her sister who sat on the left of her. "Livie, what's wrong?" Alexis mused, noticing how quiet she had been.

Olivia looked up from her untouched plate. "Is mommy okay?" The little girl looked up through dark eyelashes. Alexis offered her a warm smile. "Of course, she just had a bad dream. Now eat up!" The little girl thought this over, but eventually was satisfied with her big sister's answer and began to shovel pancakes in her mouth.

**-C-B-**

When Kate emerged from she and Castle's bedroom, she walked slowly down the stairs, stopping every now and then to look at the pictures that adorned the walls. Each one brought a large smile to her face. As she came to the bottom of the stairs, she stopped to watch the twins, her twins sitting on the floor, concentration evident on their little faces. They were coloring. She smiled at the sight, her heart fluttering with pride that she, and Castle produced something so beautiful. Suddenly, Kate was brought out of her reverie as she felt a hand on her arm. She turned to look at Alexis who was smiling softly at her.

"Hey, you're out. Are you feeling a little better?" Alexis looped her arm with her stepmother's and lead her to one of the couches. They took a seat and Kate got comfortable before answering.

"Yes. I'm...Much better." She replied quietly, still trying to figure out a way to find out how to ask her needed to know questions. Alexis noticed the confused look on her face and she gave her a sympathetic smile, taking the look on her face as a sign that she missed Castle.

"I miss dad too." Alexis stated, leaning into Kate and resting her head on the older woman's shoulder.

Kate's heart rose up into her throat. Was Castle okay? Maybe she was overreacting and he was just out of town for one of his books. She took a deep breath and exhaled quietly. How could she ask where Castle was? She was supposed to know this. Surely if she asked, Alexis would worry that she had lost her mind. Before Kate could even come up with a way to ask, as if on cue, Alexis spoke. "Don't worry, he'll be back soon." She looked up with those bright blue eyes that matched the sweet smile and Kate couldn't help but smile back.

She felt a huge sense of relief knowing that where ever Castle was, he was coming back. This was all still so confusing. She needed to figure this all out and she certainly couldn't do that alone. Kate looked down at Alexis, noticing how close they seemed to be. This was what she was talking about. Alexis seemed so comfortable with her, they were practically snuggling on the couch. Perhaps if she and Alexis shared this strong bond like she was sure she felt with her, then Kate could trust the girl to help her and not freak out.

Kate sighed. "Lex," she waited for the young girl to sit up and look at her. Once she did this, Kate continued. "I-If I tell you something, you promise not to freak out?" Alexis's heart started to pound and she made sure to give Kate her full attention.

"Y-Yes. What's wrong? Is dad alright? Did something happen?" Kate held up her hand to silence the girl.

"Calm down. You're dad is fine...I mean, I think." Her forehead wrinkled, and she shook her head. "T-This has nothing to do with your dad, not really anyway." Kate watched as relief flooded the young girl's features. "Look, I-I" She couldn't even begin to think of a way to explain this to her.

Alexis stared at her expectantly, eyes searching her face in an attempt to gain some idea of what all of this was about, why she was acting so strange. "Mom, just...Spit it out. If you don't want me to freak out, it would help if you didn't keep me waiting." Alexis said factually.

Kate sighed a nodded. "Right, sorry. It's just, this is hard to explain-" She paused and wrung her hands together. "I-I don't remember any of this." she almost whispered and Alexis had to strain to hear her.

"What? What do you mean?" Alexis question, forehead wrinkling in confusion.

"I don't know what I mean. All I know is that one minute I'm laying in the grass, bleeding out from a gunshot wound and Castle is hovering over me, begging and pleading for me to stay conscious and then he-he tells me he loves me..." She paused and Alexis could see the confusion on her face. She didn't say anything, knowing the story wasn't over. "And then I-I'm here...Pregnant, and have 3 kids, married to Castle."

"...And? It was just a dream, mom. I don't understand...?" Alexis was still utterly confused and getting worried now, about her stepmother.

"That!" Kate blurted. "See? That right there. You called me mom. I don't remember any of this. I don't remember getting married or-or having the twins, and I certainly don't remember this-" She looked down at her belly. "I don't remember ever knowing you when you were younger, or you ever calling me anything but Detective Beckett or, Kate." She said in a desperate tone.

Alexis cocked her head and gave Kate a strange look. "Wait, Detective? Since when were you ever a cop?" She was now extremely worried, Kate was seriously scaring her.

Kate gave her a look before answering, "Since...always?" it was more of question than an answer. Alexis shook her head.

"W-What's the last thing you remember?" Alexis asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

Kate visibly swallowed. "My supposed 'dream'. Alexis, w-what are the twins names'?" Her cheeks flushed and she looked down in embarrassment that she couldn't remember her own children's names.

Alexis looked at her, baffled. Was she serious? Kate stared at her expectantly when Alexis was silent. She shook her head and finally found her voice. "O-Olivia Nicole Castle, and Mathew Alexander Castle." Kate smiled at the names and turned to look at the two little ones spread out on the floor. "They just turned 5, born November 4th at 5AM." Alexis said as she watched Kate carefully.

Kate felt tears spring into her eyes. She sniffled and sighed. "W-what about this? Do you know how far along I am?" She was rubbing her belly softly. Alexis placed her hands over Kate's and she tried to smile at the woman who had taken care of her like she had given birth to her, herself.

"You're almost 5 months along, it's a boy." Alexis said softly, trying to school her features. She wanted to take Kate to the hospital right away, but she knew Kate would refuse. Kate nodded, smiling softly.

"O-Okay. W-Where is Castle, I mean...your dad?" Kate ran a shaky hand through her hair and watched Alexis carefully as she tried to gauge her reaction out of all of this.


	3. Hold Me When I'm Scared

**Authors Note**: _Wow, I am just ecstatic with all the wonderful reviews I've gotten as well as the MANY story alerts and what-not. (; Here's the next installment. I do hope you all enjoy. Thanks for reading and the review button below just makes me writer faster. c:_

**Disclaimer:** Pay attention, I still don't own Castle. D:

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><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

**Hold Me When I'm Scared**

"Dad is on an undercover mission...Don't you remember?" Alexis asked with a quizzical expression. Kate's eyes widened. _Undercover_?

She shook her head. "N-No, I don't. What exactly does Castle do?" She asked hesitantly, now tracing soothing circles onto her belly, softly.

Alexis studied Kate's face for a moment before she answered. "He works for the FBI."

Kate's eyebrows rose well above her hairline. "FBI? Castle is a writer..." At this Alexis furrowed her brows.

"No, mom...You're the writer. Remember? You write for _The New York Times_, as a famous book critic...And you recently got offered to teach an English major class..." Alexis smiled, pride showing in her bright blue eyes for her stepmother.

Kate let herself sink into the couch as she contemplated what Alexis had just told her. She wrote for _The New York Times_? And...Castle, he was an FBI agent? What the hell was going on? She shook her head and sat back up to look at Alexis. "B-But, I remember being a homicide detective, and-Castle, he wrote fiction. He-He Had 28 best sellers, two books based off of me." Kate let out an exasperated sigh as she rubbed her face, obviously frustrated, and very confused

Alexis took Kate's hand in hers and offered a smile. "That was some dream." She said softly, wishing with every fiber of her being that Kate would go back to being her normal self.

"It doesn't feel like a dream, this feels like a dream, yet...It feels real. I-Ughh. I'm just confusing myself." Kate mumbled into her hand as she closed her eyes and dropped her head onto the side of the couch and closed her eyes.

"It'll be okay, mom. You've got me. You wont be going through this alone." Alexis smiled reassuringly at Kate, who smiled back, feeling her emotions rise up.

"Thank you, Lex." Kate said, leaning in to hug the girl tightly.

She could feel Alexis nod against her and then her soft voice. "Of course. I love you." She had never heard those words from Alexis before, at least not spoken to her. Wait, yes she had...She just couldn't remember, apparently; But right now it was like she was hearing them for the first time. It caused her breath to catch in her throat and tears to form into her eyes.

When they pulled back, Kate held back her tears and smiled, her heart pounding in her chest. "I-I love you too." She stammered, cursing her unsteady voice. Her green eyes were glazed over and this did not go unnoticed by Alexis. She didn't say anything, however, knowing her stepmother didn't like to feel so vulnerable.

**-C-B-**

"So how old were you when I met Castle?" Kate mused as she stared across the kitchen table at Alexis, glancing every now and then at the two younger Casckett babies who were playing some sort of educational board game.

Alexis looked thoughtful for a moment, eyes drifting to the ceiling. "Uhm...6 or 7? We were in a book store, and I managed to wander away from dad. I ended up in the kids section where this creepy guy was leering at some of the mothers and their children. He came up to me and I remember thinking how scary he looked..." She trailed off a moment as she gathered her memories. "I guess he was making sure I hadn't wandered off, but he scared me and I was told not to talk to strangers so I remember taking off, running as fast as I could. I looked behind me to see that he was chasing me so that just spurred me on to run faster..." She chuckled softly before continuing, "and as I turned my head to check behind me again, I ran smack dab into your legs. I fell back and you stumbled but didn't fall. I remember you knelt down because I was crying and then the man approached so I hid behind you." Alexis thought back to that day, smiling at the protective instincts Kate had for a child she had never met.

_Little Alexis Castle clung to Kate's leg for dear life as the woman stood to her full height to take in the sight of the older looking man. Alexis poked her head around the barrier that was Kate Beckett's legs. Kate looked down at the child who's lips were quivering. "Are you okay, sweetie? Do you know this man?" Kate asked gently as she watched the little girl shake her head in the negative. _

_"H-He was chasing me!" Alexis squeaked, her body quaking._

_The man in question offered a smile but only got a dirty look from Kate in return. "I was going to help her find her mother..." He paused and as an afterthought added, "Or father...I guess I scared her. Are you her mother?" The man asked, eyes raking over the young woman's body. _

_Kate went rigid under his stare. She wasn't satisfied that he had been trying to help the little girl. She let out a sarcastic chuckle and shook her head. "Yeah, you think? She's scared to death." Kate all but yelled. People were turning their heads. _

_The man looked guilty and cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm sorry. Look I'll just take he-" He was cut off as Kate shook her head. _

_"No, that's alright. I can handle it..." Before the man could protest, Kate turned and knelt down in front of Alexis and smiled warmly. "Hi, my name is Kate. Can you tell me yours and we can find your mommy or daddy?" Kate could see the little gears in the child's head turning, obviously trying to decide weather she should trust Kate._

_Finally, Alexis answered. "My name is Alexis, and-I-I didn't mean to wander off from my daddy." Tears started to form and Kate felt her heart sink into her stomach. _

_"Hey, don't cry. It's okay, I'm sure your daddy is around here. C'mon let's find him, huh?" Kate smiled and stood up, holding out her hand. Alexis willingly took the woman's hand as they began to walk. "Let me know if you see him, okay?" At this, Alexis nodded. _

_After a few moments of looking, Kate noticed a frantic looking man poking his head in and out of isles. "Alexis? Alexis Castle?" He called, not really caring about the looks he was getting. Kate looked down as Alexis jerked her head in the direction her name was being called. _

_"There he is! Thas my daddy!" Alexis cried, tugging Kate's hand and pulling her forward. "Daddy!" She exclaimed as she crashed into his legs. Castle let out a sigh of relief and scooped his daughter up. _

_"Alexis! Thank God. You scared daddy, please don't do that again." He murmured into her hair as he hugged her close to his chest. Kate just stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Just as she had made the decision to go, she heard her name._

_"Kate! Daddy, Kate saved meee!" Alexis exclaimed, eyes wide as she glanced at the woman who was in mid-step. Castle glanced up, just noticing the woman in front of him...The very beautiful woman he might have had to add. _

_Kate smiled, cheeks flushing as she turned back around. "Kate Beckett. Some guy scared her and she ran into me." She offered her hand and Castle took it, shaking her hand. _

_"Rick Castle, and thank you for rescuing my little princess." He grinned at the little girl in his arms who bobbed her head in agreement. _

Alexis smiled at the memory, smirking as she said, "And then dad asked you out...Of course you refused...But then dad insisted it for-" She hooked her index and middle fingers to form air quotes before continuing, "'saving his little princess'." They both chuckled softly and Kate shook her head.

Just as Kate was about to speak, there was a shrill cry that interrupted her. She turned to see her younger daughter in tears as she ran over to her mother and climbed up into her lap as much as she could with the baby bump. Her heart rate quickened as the child clung to her, sobbing into her chest. "M...ommy, M-M-Matt h...h..it me!" Kate felt her heart constrict but then a sudden feeling she couldn't explain rushed through her.

"Aww, baby. Where's it hurt, sweetie?" Kate gave the little girl a sympathetic look as she watched as Olivia pulled back with a tear stained face and pointed to her shoulder, lower lip jutting out and quivering. Kate smiled and pressed her lips to the soft skin of her daughter's shoulder. "There, all better." Kate set the little girl down and stood up and before she knew it she was scolding her son, not realizing the words that were coming out of her mouth. "Mathew Alexander Castle! What have I told you about hitting? We do not hit!" She placed her hands on her hips and watched as the little boy bowed his head in shame.

"T-That it's not nice and-and g...ood b-boys don't hit..." He trailed off and his lips quivered. "I-I is sowy, mommy. Livie beated me at the game, and I goted mad." He confessed, looking shameful as he looked up through dark eyelashes and sad eyes. Kate sighed, not able to resist the puppy dog look for long.

"What do you say?" Kate raised her brows expectantly and turned to glance at Olivia who still had tears streaming down her face.

Matt let out an exasperated sigh and kicked up his foot. "Sorry, Livia." he mumbled, lower lip jutting out into a pout. Kate nodded to the boy and shook her head as she turned to look at a bewildered Alexis.

"...What?" She asked, her eyes never leaving Alexis as she leaned down to pick up Olivia and set her back into her lap as she took a seat. Olivia immediately buried her face in Kate's chest and sighed tiredly, her arms wrapping around her mother's neck.

Alexis looked like a fish as her mouth opened and closed. Kate's brows furrowed and she gave Alexis another 'what is it?' look. Alexis finally managed to gather her thoughts. "I just-You-Didn't you see what just happened there? You say you don't remember, but you obviously do cause-" Kate cut her off as she realized what had just happened.

"Oh...Yeah..." She paused, thinking hard. "I don't know, it was just like...An automatic reflex." She had a strange feeling now, unsure what had just happened.

Alexis nodded at the explanation. "This is weird. Are you sure you wont let me take you to the doctor? Maybe you hit your head..." Alexis's forehead crinkled with worry.

Kate shook her head. "No, No. I don't know what's going on, but I'm certain I did not hit my head." Kate said adamantly.

At the mention of the doctor, Olivia lifted her head from her mother's shoulder. "Is mommy sick? Why does you need to go to the Doctor?" the little girl's eyes were wide with worry. Kate smiled and shook her head. She still wasn't used to being called 'mommy'.

"No, lovebug. Mommy is fine." She appeased. The little girl looked at her mother skeptically, as if trying to see if she was lying. After a moment, she looked satisfied and went back to resting her head on Kate's shoulder.

Alexis watched as her stepmother interacted with her little sister. Surely she must remember something of her family? She looked so natural and at ease now with her little sister in her arms. Alexis sighed, raking a hand through her long hair and proceeded to wander deep into her thoughts.


	4. Love Me When I'm Gone

**Authors Note: **_Wow, lots of story alerts for this. (: Really glad you guys like it so far. I hope you continue to enjoy, and remember. The review button helps me improve as well as get chapters out faster because I'm eager to hear your thoughts._ _Yes, Castle is finally in the picture as some of you were getting anxious for, although he isn't in there much. Don't worry, more of him is coming. (:_

**Disclaimer:** So if you didn't notice from the last three chapters...I don't own Castle.

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><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

**Love Me When I'm Gone**

Kate spent the rest of the day getting to know her twins, while Alexis relayed memories as she tried to picture them in her mind. Sometimes she would feel like she was remembering them, and then others she felt as though she was just hearing some 'guess you had to be there' story. She found it fascinating how the twins had two completely different and slightly opposite personalities.

Olivia was very bossy, she liked to be in control and when she couldn't have her way she would get mad and pout. Her cobalt colored eyes would darken every time she got angry. She wasn't shy, and didn't hold back any thought that crossed her mind. Kate could see how much the little girl looked like her and her mother when they were younger. Olivia had long dark brown hair that was pulled back into braided pig tails. She was petite, her face round and her cheeks indented into dimples when she smiled.

Mathew on the other hand was mischievous and was always getting into trouble. He was the one who came up with all the bright ideas that got them into trouble, while Olivia was always the voice of reason, though her brother usually always talked her into doing whatever it was that mommy had told them _NOT_ to do. Matty looked slightly more like Castle, Kate liked this. The little boy was utterly adorable and had a smile that could easily lessen any punishment. He had Kate's eyes, a sage green except they had flecks of gold in them. Bedroom eyes, she thought. His short brown hair was spiked in the front. Kate couldn't help but not be modest, she and Castle had made gorgeous children. She wondered if the little one inside of her looked more like her or Castle, or perhaps he was a perfect mixture of them.

Kate grinned as she lay in bed, thoughts of she and Castle's children running through her head. Before she knew it, she was fast asleep.

"_Kate, I don't know if you can hear me, but please don't give up. Dad loves you, you've been there for him when he needed you, don't leave him now. W-We all need you._"

-x-

"_Girl, you better get your happy ass back here. We need you...Don't you stop fighting, they don't call you Badass Beckett for nothin'._"

-x-

"_Boss lady, we can't have you dying on us. Me and Ryan need you. You can't get off that easy._"

"_Yeah, Beckett. We wont let you leave us that easy. So you got shot, that's nothin'. Seriously, Kate. Keep fighting. We miss you._"

-x-

"_I miss you, Kate. Please don't you dare leave me. I need you hear, I can't lose you. I should have been quicker. I could have stopped it. Please don't give up. You are extraordinary, Katherine Beckett. I love you, Kate. Always._"

"Kate, Kate...Wake up." Kate's sleeping form wracked with sobs. Slowly, she began to rouse from her sleep, feeling the light jostle as someone shook her. Her eyes fluttered open. "It's just a dream, Kate." She heard the soothing voice say. Turning her head slightly, she let her eyes focus on the person above her.

As her vision cleared, her heart rate picked up and her breath caught in her throat. "C-Castle?" She wasn't sure if she was seeing things or perhaps she was still dreaming.

Castle smiled and leaned down to press a chaste kiss on her forehead, wiping away the tears that she didn't realize were still sliding down her cheeks. "It's me." He replied softly as he let himself slip beneath the covers beside her and pull her body back against him.

Kate stopped breathing as she felt his arms wrap around her, his hands resting on her stomach. Her body automatically stiffened against him. This didn't go unnoticed by Castle.

"Are you alright, Kate?" Castle slowly drew lazy circles into her hip, inhaling deeply as he took in the sweet scent that was his wife. God he had missed her. Kate nodded wordlessly as she turned in his arms so that she was facing him.

She stared up at him, eyes tracing over the shape of his face in the dark. She wasn't sure if she should tell him what was going on, or keep it to herself. This was something she needed to get used to. Although being in his arms made her feel safe. Maybe she should just keep it between her and Alexis.

"I missed you." Castle whispered, holding her close. Kate felt herself smile.

"I-I missed you too." She squeaked, wishing she felt more comfortable in this role as his wife than she did nervous. It was like she pressed the fast forward button on their relationship status from 'maybe something more, possibly' to 'married with kids'. This scared her. She was scared. What if she screwed it up somehow?

Suddenly her train of thought was interrupted as she felt Castle's lip's crush hers. Again, Kate stopped breathing as her heart pumped more blood into her body. At first she was tense, scared even. Her instincts were telling her to recoil, but she couldn't. Her mind flashed backed to their first so called kiss. But that wasn't real, was it? Either way, like that kiss, this one only got more passionate as Kate relaxed and melted into him.

**-C-B-**

Kate was the first one awake. Extracting herself from Castle's grasp, she slowly and quietly moved to the edge of the bed. Once she was up, she moved quickly to the bathroom. Apparently the baby thought her bladder was a punching bag. After using the facilities, Kate washed her hands and moved down into the kitchen to start breakfast. She couldn't help but let her mind wander to last night.

How she reveled in the feeling of Castle's arms around her, his lips against hers. He held her so tenderly, asking her about the dream that caused her such distress. She had simply waved it off as something dumb and hesitantly cuddled up into his chest, closing her eyes and instantly falling asleep. She hadn't slept that good in a while...Wait, at least she didn't think she had.

As Kate scrambled up some eggs, her mind began to wander back to her dream. It was like she was engulfed in total darkness, and then the familiar voices...They sounded distant, muffled, almost like she was under water. She had felt such anguish as she heard the hurt in those voices. She had felt herself trying to cling to them for dear life, but she just couldn't stick.

Sighing, Kate set the steaming, cooked eggs on a cold burner to cool as she grabbed a couple of plates from the cabinet above. She then proceeded to fix a pot of coffee. It wasn't until she got the bacon out, that she realized if she couldn't remember anything, how was she remembering where all of this was? It almost seemed as though this was programmed into her mind. Her forehead wrinkled in confusion as she looked around.

Before she could shrug it off, she heard a soft, quiet voice coming from the hall way. "Mommy?" Her heart always seemed to quicken at that word. She looked up to see Mathew standing in _Spongebob Squarepants _clad pajamas, holding a ratty old teddy in one arm while his free hand fisted and rubbed the sleepies out of his eye. Her heart practically melted at the sight of him.

Kate quickly noticed his tear stained cheeks and contorted expression. "What's the matter, baby?" she heard slip out of her mouth. It was like she was on autopilot, watching from outside her body yet feeling the love for this child all at once. She met him half way, kneeling down in front of him, her eyes automatically combing over his little body for any sort of injury that would cause the frown on his face.

Mathew walked into her arms as she held them out to him. His arms wrapped around her neck, teddy still clutched tightly in one hand as he buried his face in her long hair, her scent and warm embrace instantly soothing him. "I haded a bad dwream. " He mumbled into her neck. Kate felt her heart constrict as she felt his arms tighten around her at the mention of his dream.

"It was just a dream, baby. You're okay." Kate reassured, holding him close and trailing her fingers up and down his back. "You wanna tell mommy what it was about?" She pulled back to look at him, wiping his tears away with her thumb.

Taking a deep breath and bowing his head bashfully, Mathew thought for a moment. Finally he met her gaze and licked his lips. "You were gone." He almost whispered.

Kate looked puzzled. "Gone?" She repeated it in the form of a question. Matt nodded, new tears forming in his eyes.

"Mommy, pwease don't leave us." He whimpered, arms wrapping around her. "Don't fourget about us." He sobbed into her neck quietly, little body quivering. Kate almost broke into tears herself.

"I wouldn't dream of leaving or forgetting you, booger. I love you too much." She slowly pulled back and stood up to her full height. She needed to sit down. Kate grabbed Matt's little hand in hers and took a seat in the recliner, lifting Mathew up and settling him into his lap.

Mathew curled up in her embrace, hiccupping tears as one of his hands fisted the top of her shirt. "You pwromise you wont fourget us? Daddy loves you, that's how we got here." He mumbled, slowly calming down as Kate rubbed soothing circles into his back.

Kate froze at Mathew's words. Why would she get such a weird vibe off of that. Then again, this was coming from a five year old. She shook off the feeling and gently ran her fingers through his hair. "I know, booger. I love him too, and I also love you." Kate smiled down at her son as he attempted a small smile.

"Pinky pwromise, mommy." He said as seriously as a five year old could. He sat up and held out his pinky. "You can't bwreak it!" He warned, eyebrows raised. Kate couldn't help the smile that crept up on her face. She had to stifle a giggle at his serious face.

"I pinky promise." She said as she latched her large pinky with his much smaller one. Mathew smiled at her. His eyes then lit up as they stared at something behind her.

"Daddyyy!" The little boy carefully removed himself from his mother's lap and scrambled over to Castle who stood at the bottom of the stairs.

Castle grinned and leaned down to catch the little boy as he leapt into his arms. "Hey, buddy! I miss you so much." He squeezed him in a bear hug, though not too tight, being careful not to hurt him.

Mathew beamed, wrapping his little arms around Castle's neck. "I missed you too, daddy. Did you slay the dragons?" Kate watched in awe as father and son embraced. She wished she could remember other scenes like this.

"I sure did, buddy. He had two heads and he tried to tickle me, like this!" Castle's fingers worked over the little boy's ribs as he let out squeals and giggles, squirming to try and get away.

"Mommy, save me!" Mathew cried out as Castle set the little boy down. Matt immediately ran back to the comfort of his mother. Kate took him into her arms willingly as he burrowed into her.

Castle chuckled. "You're such a momma's boy. But mommy can't save you!" He teased, smirking at the both of them. Kate grinned, eyes glancing between Castle and Mathew. She wasn't entirely sure what to make of the situation. Though everything was new, or at least it felt new to her, she loved every second.

Mathew hid his face in his mother's neck. "Yes she can! She always doesss." He looked up at Castle and grinned. Just as Castle was about to protest, he felt a small body crash into his legs, as two pairs of arms wrapped around them.

"Daddy, you're home!" Olivia cried, grinning up at him.

Castle scooped up his daughter and kissed her cheek. "I'm home, princess. I missed you lots and lots." He snuggled the little girl as she hugged him.

Alexis was the last to join the group of four. The morning was spent as a family, Castle spending time with the kids and Kate, all the weight he had felt from his previous case, slowly slipping from his shoulders as he felt the love and comfort of his family.


	5. Everything I Am

**Authors Note:** _Sorry if this took a little longer than I said it would. I had a bit of writers block and there was a death in my family so I've been dealing with all of that. Anyway, I hope you all are continuing to enjoy this little story. (: I've enjoyed writing it so far._

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own Castle. :/

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><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

**Everything I Am**

Alexis knocked softly on the door of the bathroom. "Mom...? I got Livie dressed, but Matt insists on being naked. I can't catch him." she chuckled a little at the thought of her brother running through the house in nothing but his underwear.

Kate opened up the bathroom door with a small smirk. "I'll get him dressed, then." She said softly as she finished putting up her hair. Alexis nodded, but she didn't leave. Kate noticed this and turned to face the teenager with a quizzical expression. "Something wrong?" She mused, bringing her hands back down to her sides.

"Wha-? No, no. I just-" She paused. gathering her words. "H-how are you feeling?" Alexis asked, brows raised. Kate realized that Alexis was talking about the whole not-remembering-anything deal.

Sighing, Kate simply shrugged. "I honestly don't know, Lex. Everything is so strange for me." She watched Alexis nod softly in understanding.

"Have you told dad?" Alexis asked, slightly hopeful that she wouldn't have to keep this secret.

"What? No. No way. He'd flip." Kate shook her head so fast that Alexis thought it might pop off, a look of incredulity washing over her features. "You can't tell him, Alexis...At least not yet. Just-Just wait. Let me figure this out, I don't want Castle worrying." Kate said, a look of seriousness washing over her.

Alexis nodded softly. "Okay, okay. I promise I wont say anything. I'm just...worried." She smiled sheepishly at her stepmother who gave her a warm smile in return.

"I know, Lex." Kate sighed and placed her hands on the girl's shoulders. "Look, I know you're worried, but everything will be okay. I'll tell him if I feel I need to, but whatever is wrong with me, if I've gone completely insane...Or I'm having a mental breakdown, perhaps both...Whatever the case, let me deal with it first." She let her eyes meet Alexis's as they stared pointedly.

Finally Alexis relented. She gave a small nod and offered a weak smile before turning to leave. "Thanks Lex." She heard Kate say and again, she nodded only adding a stronger smile to ensure that Kate knew Alexis trusted her judgment.

Sighing again, Kate stepped out of the bathroom, letting her eyes search down the halls. A small smile creased her lips as she heard the approaching footfalls and loud giggles coming from around the corner. Mathew attempted to dart past Kate, his arms in the air; But before he could make it passed the bathroom door, Kate scooped him up as best she could. "Not so fast, Mister," She chided, although grinning from ear to ear. "just where do you think you're going?" Kate raised a brow and watched as Mathew pouted, obviously upset he had been caught.

"No wheres anymore." He mumbled, sighing and resting his head on Kate's shoulder as she attempted to perch the ever growing boy on her hip.

Kate chuckled and shook her head. "C'mon, let's go get you dressed." She said softly as she began to walk down the hall to Mathew and Olivia's room.

**-C-B-**

"Stay where we can see you and listen to your sister." Castle spoke calmly as he nodded to the twins and Alexis. As the twins nodded and latched on to their older sister's hands, Castle led Kate to one of the benches around the playground. They both took a seat, their eyes never leaving the three retreating figures.

Castle heaved a content sigh, watching as his breath clung to the air like smoke. Winter was fast approaching. He wrapped his arm snuggly around Kate who turned her gaze to him. She had a nervous look on her face as she visibly swallowed. "You've been acting strange, lately. Are you okay, Kate?" He asked, concern lacing his smooth voice.

Kate nodded shyly and smiled. "I'm fine." She replied softly, hands tracing over her stomach. Castle smiled at her and kissed her forehead. Kate felt her heart rate quicken at the simple gesture, her insides warming and fluttering all at the same time. A small smile creased her lips as she hesitantly leaned into the crook of his arm, turning slightly to wrap her arms around him. Castle readily wrapped both his arms around her as best he could, one hand running up and down her back soothingly as they watched their kids play.

Alexis held on to a twin in each hand. They pulled her along to the swings, giggling as they bounced forward. "C'mon, sissy. Hurry!" Came Mathew's excited voice as he tugged at her left hand. Alexis smirked down at him.

"Yea, sissy! Will you push me?" Olivia looked up at her older sister as they neared the swings, placing her free hand on the seat as she waited. Alexis nodded softly.

"Of course, I'll push you." She replied as she let go of Mathew and gently scooped Olivia up under her arms and set her on the swing. "Hold on, let me put Matty up." Alexis turned and lifted the excited little boy up onto the swing and then moved behind them. "Hold on tight, guys." She said, waiting for them to get ready. "Are you holding on?" She grinned, eyeing the both of them as their heads bobbed up and down.

"Yes!" Came their excited replies.

"Okayyy..." Alexis cheered, gently pulling back Olivia first and letting go, before moving to Matt and doing the same. Soon, their excited squeals and giggles filled the crisp fall air as Alexis pushed each twin gently when they reached her. She made sure they didn't go too high, or too fast.

Kate sighed as she watched Alexis push the twins. She smiled at their excited smiles and red little noses and rosy, chubby cheeks. She could easily hear their giggles and squeals as the movement down made their tummies catch. She watched as her little girl's pigtails swayed in the breeze, her blue eyes filled with excitement and laughter. Kate's eyes then moved to the dimpled open mouthed smile on her son's face as he let out numerous giggles. His little hands gripped the chain so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. She watched as he closed his eyes as the swing came back down. Kate could only imagine what he was thinking, but the innocent sight of her children laughing made her heart flip. And at that moment, the fourth child made himself known as Kate felt a kick inside her womb. She looked down and placed a hand on the spot her unborn son had moved.

Castle smiled warmly and placed his hand on Kate's, watching their children play in a comfortable silence. As Kate looked up at him, he tried to read her face like he normally could, but was unable to. There was something different about her that he couldn't quite place. Whatever it may have been, he was confident she would tell him when she was ready to share.

**-C-B-**

As the family of 5 came home, every one settled down and hung up their jackets. Alexis looked over at Kate who was taking off her hat and putting it into the closet. "Want me to help you get the twins down for a nap?" Alexis offered, taking her gaze over to the two sleepy 5 year olds who were taking off their shoes.

Kate looked to Alexis as she spoke, and then nodded. "Yeah that would be great, thanks." She smiled and then held out her hands for each twin to grab. When they did, she led them up the stairs and down the hall to their room, Alexis in tow.

Gently, Kate removed her son's jacket and hat, running her fingers through the boy's hair and grinning. His eyes drooped slightly and he yawned, obviously ready for a nap. "Mommy, I not tired." He mumbled, making a fist and rubbing his eye. Kate smirked and helped him get dressed in some more comfortable clothes.

"Sure you aren't Booger, but mommy is tired and she would like you to take a nap with her." She stood up slowly and grabbed Matt's hand to lead him over to his baseball themed bed and pulled the covers back. Matt sighed and slipped in between the sheets. Kate smiled and placed a kiss on his forehead before tucking him in, she then turned to see how Alexis was doing with Olivia when Matt spoke up.

"Mommy, I thought you was gonna nap wiff me." His lower lip jutted out in a pout and his brows furrowed.

Kate nearly melted at how adorable he looked and she felt her throat tighten. "I will, baby. I just need to make sure your sister is okay." She choked out, feeling ridiculous as her emotions began to rise up. She watched Matt nod and turn on his side, making an effort to keep his eyes open until his mommy came to lay with him.

Alexis smiled at her stepmother as the older woman turned to look at her. "Were all set here." She said as she picked her sister up gently and sat on the moon and star themed twin bed on the other side of the room. Alexis then pulled the sheets back and set the practically limp 5 year old between the sheets and pulled the comforter up to her chin. "Night, Livie. See you when you wake up." Alexis smiled and planted a kiss on the girl's forehead.

"Night night, sissy. I love you." Olivia declared in a sleepy voice.

"I love you too, Livie. Night, Matty. Love you." Alexis said softly as she headed for the door.

Mathew replied with a 'goodnight' and an 'I love you too ' as Alexis closed the door behind her. Kate knelt down by her daughter's bed and kissed her nose softly. "Night, kiddo. Sweet dreams." She said as she stood up.

"Night, mommy. I love you." Came Olivia's tired reply.

Kate smiled through watery eyes at her daughter as she replied, "I love you too, baby." and then turned to walk quietly across the room to Mathew's bed. "Scoot over, booger." She said softly, watched as the small boy complied and lifted the covers up to pat the spot beside him. Kate smiled and slipped in beside him and he pulled the blankets up over their bodies.

"No leaving, mommy." Mathew whispered, looking up at Kate as she pulled him into her side. Kate caught his gaze with her own, noting the only difference in their eye color was his golden flecks. She shook her head as he rested his own head in the crook of her shoulder, his arm that wasn't snuggling his teddy, wrapping around her slightly enlarged belly.

"I wouldn't dream of it, kiddo. I'll be right here." She reassured him, her arm draping over his little body while her free hand softly ran through his hair. She wasn't sure how she knew this, but that action always soothed him to sleep.

She was right, soon she could hear Mathew's soft steady breathing as he inhaled and exhaled. She could hear Olivia's breathing too. Never did a sound seem to sooth her so much. As she drifted between sleep and awake, she let her thoughts run over the course of the day. She seemed to be picking up all these instincts with the twins, noticing that things just sort of happened when it came to them. Most of the time she didn't realize what she was doing until a little in the middle of the situation. And she was good at it, she was good at being a mother. Something always reacted in her before her brain could even wrap around what she was doing. If it weren't for that, she wasn't sure if she could pull this off.

One thing she was sure of, though was that she did love these kids. That was the last thought that ran through Kate's mind before she slipped into dream world.

_Blackness, nothing but blackness. She can't feel or see anything, it's like she just...exists. Silence, nothing but silence. But wait, suddenly she hears the sound of a 'beep'. It's constant. _BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. _God it's so annoying. She tries to block it out, when suddenly she starts to feel a tightness in her chest. _

_The blackness leaves and suddenly the picture changes and she's in a white room. It's bright and she clamps her eyes shut and tries to move her arm so that she can block the light. A pain shoots through her chest and she tries to cry out but no sound is heard. _

_Voices, she can hear muffled voices again. _

_"How is she doing, Doctor?"_

_She knows that voice all to well._

_"She's in a semi-conscious state. As I said before, we had to put her in a medically induced coma in order for her body to get a jump start at healing, but we've taken her off those medications and now it's all up to her to wake up. It could take some time, talking to her could be beneficial."_

_This voice is unrecognizable._

_"Okay, thanks."_

_Silence, except for that incessant beeping._

_There's a tug on her hand and she struggles to look down to see what it is, but she realizes she can't move. Then the voice starts again._

_"Kate, please come back to me. I need you to come back to me." That voice. She tries to hold onto it, a heavy feeling washing over her as she notes how tired the voice sounds, how worn out and pleading it sounds. "We need you Kate, I need you. I love you, so much. I want to be with you forever, I just need you to come back to me. Please don't leave me." The voice starts to fade and she panics, desperately wanting to do as the voice says. She tries to speak but nothing comes out, and suddenly she feels something shaking her._

"Mommy, mommy. Wake up! Don't leave me." Kate groaned, eyes fluttering open to see two sets of eyes looking down at her. "Mommy!" Mathew threw his arms around her, while Olivia grabbed her hand.

"Mathew, Olivia, what's wrong?" Kate attempted to sit up but both Olivia and Mathew hugged her tightly now, Olivia having dropped Kate's hand and leaned down to hug her.

"You were leaving, Mommy." Olivia said quietly, pulling back and picking Kate's hand back up. Mathew nodded vehemently, eyes wide with fear. Kate finally managed to push herself up as Mathew sat back up.

"Come here." Kate said as she held her arms open for both of them. Olivia rested her head on her mother's right shoulder while Matt moved to rest his head on her left. As they both snuggled on either side, Kate let her arms snake around the two kids and she kissed each of their heads. "I'm not going anywhere." She said in a calm voice.

Mathew hugged her tighter and spoke up. "No, we saw you mommy. You were leaving us. You can't leave us. If you go, you'll just push us back and we'll never be!" the little boy clung to her like she was his only life line.

Olivia nodded in agreement. "We love you, please don't go." the little girl pleaded now beginning to play with her mommy's hair.

Kate's heart rate had picked up as she listened to the two of them. She wasn't sure what to make of what they were saying, or what had just happened. Was this a dream? Or was she just seriously confused. Different thoughts and scenarios seemed to race through her brain as she attempted to calm and sooth her children.


	6. Everything In Me

**Author's Note: **_Hola! Here's the next installment. I wanna thank you guys SO much for all of the reviews. Even if I haven't replied to every one of you, like I normally do. I love all your reviews and kind words and helpful comments. I hope you're continuing to enjoy this. (: I'm thinking about trying to make a movie trailer for this. I've made music videos but never a trailer, so if anyone wants to help out, let me know! Otherwise, keep enjoying. -Detective Apples/Holly_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything. :C_  
><em>

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><p><strong>Chapter Six<strong>

**Everything In Me**

The room was silent as Kate sat curled up on the couch, cup of hot tea in hand. It was dark and she was afraid to go to sleep. Afraid to leave the little ones who were fast asleep upstairs in their room, afraid to leave the handsome man across the hall from the two beautiful children. She was afraid to fall asleep for fear she might wake up and be alone.

She gingerly took a sip of her tea and heaved a tired sigh as she placed her free hand on top of her belly, beginning to trace circles into it. Kate wasn't sure what was real anymore. Leaning over, she set her cup of tea on the coffee table and then leaned back into the couch, before scrubbing her face with her hands. She just wanted everything to make sense again, if it ever did.

Closing her eyes, Kate let her head drop on to the back of the couch. Her mind slowly began to drift and it didn't take long for sleep to claim her.

_A vivid image began to play like an old movie in Kate's mind. She watched herself walk up behind a man and as he turned around, Kate realized it was Castle. _

_"Mr. Castle...?" _

_"Where would you like it?"_

_"Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight." Kate watches her dream self flash her badge and then the whole scene drips away like condensation on a soda can. _

_Suddenly memories begin to flash by like a picture show, only it's on fast forward until it comes to a sudden halt, a picture playing clearly now. _

_Kate's leaning against Rick with his arm around her, and though she's watching like she's having an out of body experience she can still feel the sensation of his strong body against hers, his warmth engulfing her core. She hears herself fake a laugh, her instincts on high alert as she carefully eyes the armed man as he approaches._

_"Castle, it's not working." Her dream self says quietly through a clenched fake smile. She starts to reach for her gun, when suddenly her hand is snatched up by Castle's as he forces her to face him, his hand cupping the back of her neck as he stares into her eyes. She feels her heart rate pick up considerably and she's certain that it's going to burst through her rib cage. _

_As he crushes his lips to hers, Kate watches herself and Castle in awe, her hands slowly moving to touch her lips as though she can feel it, and she can. It causes her to gasp as she watches on, as her dream self pulls back with a slightly shocked expression but quickly pulls Rick back in for more._

_Her tongue runs across his lower lip, asking for permission to enter. He readily complies, opening his mouth slightly to grant her access as they begin to taste and explore the other. The kiss is passionate and for a moment they both forget that there's a man with a gun approaching them. As the man nears, his fingers tracing over the cool medal of his weapon, he smiles at the last minute and begins to turn. _

_Once his back is turned, Kate's dream self gently pushes Castle away and in a flash the man is on his back. _

_The image slowly fades and suddenly she's laying in the grass, gasping for air. Her eyes are as wide as saucers as she stares up at Castle, willing herself to stay with him. The burning in her chest is unbearable, so unbearable she can't even cry out. And she's not on the outside watching this time either, no...She's inside her body, slowly fighting a losing battle to darkness. _

_His voice sooths her though as the blackness clouds her vision, and then he says those three words. _

_"Kate-, I love you. I love you, Kate." She wants to cup his face in her hands and tell him that she loves him too, but the only thing she can manage is a barely decipherable smile as tears stream down her cheeks._

_She can't take the pain anymore, can't take the hurt look on his face. She can hear her mind whisper, "I love you too. Always." Before she fades into blackness._

Kate's eyes jerked open as pain shot through her stomach, causing a sharp intake of breath. Another sharp kick from inside her womb is felt, reminding Kate she isn't alone. As the pain subsided, she let the tears fall freely, wiping the sweat from her brow.

"I don't want to lose this, but I want to go home." She whispered through tears. Kate wasn't quite sure what to think now as everything that'd happened replayed in her head. Slowly she laid down on the couch and curled up as best as her baby belly would allow her and closed her eyes, hoping to fall asleep and wake up with the knowledge of what to do.

**-C-B-**

The next morning, Kate awoke to the feeling of lips crushed against hers. She didn't open her eyes, only grinned as her hands cupped the face she knew those sweet lips belonged to and kissed him back. Castle was surprised when Kate deepened the kiss, and when their tongues met he had to regrettably force himself to pull back, knowing that he couldn't let it get any farther.

"Good morning, beautiful. What are you doing on the couch?" Castle's brows furrowed slightly as he asked his question, concern evident on his face.

Kate smiled and traced his face with her fingers. "I couldn't sleep and came down to get some tea, and I guess I fell back asleep here." She replied, leaving out the part about her dreams and how she practically cried herself to sleep.

Castle smiled at her as he stood back up to his full height. "I see, well. I'm making French toast this morning, would you like some?" He offered his hand to her to help her up. She gladly took it and stood up slowly off of the couch, stretching and yawning.

"Mmmm, yes please." she replied through a loud yawn.

Castle chuckled softly and placed a kiss on her cheek and then one on her prominent belly before walking off back into the kitchen. Kate rubbed her eyes and watched the man who was supposedly her husband walk off. The smile she had worn when she woke up slowly faded and she wondered how much more complicated her life could be right now.

Kate slowly made her way into the kitchen and took a seat at the table, thanking Castle as he handed her a cup of decaf coffee. She blew on it, watching the steam sway as it rose up from the cup, getting lost in her thoughts along the way.

The couple's companionable silence was broken by three sets of footsteps. Two sets were smaller than the other. "Morning." Came Alexis's tired greeting. Kate turned her head to see the teen standing in between Olivia and Mathew.

"Morning, pumpkin." Castle replied, his back still turned as he continued to work on breakfast.

"Morning, Lex." Kate smiled at the teen and then brought her gaze down to the two sleepy twins who had not spoken yet. "Morning you two." she added softly as she turned and held her arms out for a good morning hug.

"G'morning, mommy." They both said in unison as they walked into her embrace and hugged her tight. Olivia gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek and they both pulled back, matching grins on their faces.

Kate scoffed and feigned disappointment as she looked to Mathew. "Where's my kiss, booger?" She teased, poking his belly, causing him to giggle. The little boy quickly leaned forward and gave her a wet kiss on her other cheek. Kate grinned. "Thank you, now go give your daddy his good morning kisses and hugs." She nodded her head toward Rick who stepped away from the stove to squat down and receive said hugs and kisses.

The twins happily complied, running over and wrapping their little arms around him. Rick grinned wide and squeezed them both, before tickling them playfully. Once they pulled back, he stood back up to his full height and turned back to the stove. "Have a seat, breakfast is almost done!" He beamed as he finished up. Alexis who had been watching with a smile on her face, pulled out a chair each for the twins and then took a seat herself.

Once breakfast was ready, Kate and Rick handed out breakfast filled plates, before filling their own plates with food. The Castles ate and chit-chatted idly about nothing in particular and Kate briefly wondered how she was going to wake up. She was absolutely certain that this was a dream. Well, 99.8% sure...Either that or she was completely insane. She wasn't ruling that option out, either.

As the table grew silent, her thoughts grew thicker. Was her mom alive in this world? If she wasn't a cop then surely the event that led her to be one in the other world couldn't have happened, could it? Kate inwardly groaned at her confusing thoughts, deciding to push them away for now before she got a serious headache.


	7. You Wanted Me To Be

**Authors Note: **_So here's the next chapter. (: Thank you SO much for all the feedback. The more I get the faster I write. You all seem to be really enjoying this and I hope you continue to. So I've made a promotional picture for this story. You can find it on my profile. I have yet to make a video. I'm still thinking I need help on it so let me know if you can do that. (: Otherwise I hope you continue to enjoy this!_

**Disclaimer: **-yawns-

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

**You Wanted Me To Be**

With his phone plugged to his ear, Castle nodded as he listened to the caller on the other end. "Yes sir. I understand, sir...Okay." Sighing, Castle hung up the phone and shoved it back into his pocket. He had been in the middle keeping his twins entertained while his wife took a shower. Alexis was in her room, getting the rest of her books ready for school.

Rick heaved another sigh as he glanced down at the two beautiful children on the floor as they colored. He was looking forward to spending time with his wife and the twins today, but apparently the Assistant director of the FBI had other plans for him. He knew the daycare was closed today and with Alexis not here to help Kate with the twins he didn't want to leave her here by herself. It was hard not to notice Kate's expanding form and he knew that she tired easily now. He just didn't want her to have to take on the twin tornados alone in her condition.

As if on cue, Kate descended the stairs, all the while towel drying her hair. As she reached the bottom step, she removed the towel and let her long dark locks drop messily passed her shoulders. Noticing the distressed look on Castle's features, she titled her head slightly and furrowed her brows. "Everything okay, Rick?" His first name felt foreign on her tongue, but figured the Kate in this world used it often.

Shaking his head, Rick opened and closed his mouth like a fish. He had completely forgotten about work when Kate had let her hair down and absentmindedly shook it out and ran her fingers through it, so when she spoke he hadn't heard a word of what she said. His amazing reply because of that was, "Uh-huh what?" Kate smirked lightly at him and rolled her eyes.

"I asked if you were okay." She repeated, pushing a strand of wet hair behind her ear.

Rick nodded and offered her a reassuring smile. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. It's just...I have to go into work. I got a call. Will you be okay, I mean can you handle the twins alone?" He looked down to eye the seemingly little angels who were still busy coloring.

Kate gave him a look that told him she wasn't incapable. "Of course. I can handle my own kids, Castle." She snapped, placing her hands on her hips. Rick winced at her clipped tone and nodded, holding his hands up as if surrendering.

"Okay, okay. I was just making sure." He said, his voice an octave higher than it normally was. Kate's facial expression and voice softened and she offered him a small smile as she approached him.

"Sorry." She apologized, a sheepish smile creasing her lips.

"That's alright." Rick replied, smiling back at her as he snaked his arms around her waist and pressed his lips to hers. Kate's heart thudded against her chest at the close proximity, their closeness causing a flush of hormones to coarse through her body. Her cheeks reddened as they pulled back and she tried desperately to hide it as he grinned impishly at her.

After saying his goodbyes and giving Kate one last kiss, he was out of the door. Kate was left feeling a little dizzy from the kisses, still not used to any of this. Sighing, she turned to see Alexis coming down the stairs, phone in hand. "Lex, just the girl I needed to see." she mused, stepping away from the door where she had kissed Castle goodbye.

Alexis looked up from her phone and shoved it into her purse. "What's up, mom?" She asked, giving the woman her full attention. Kate had yet not to be rendered speechless every time those words came out of the teen's mouth.

Shaking her head to gather her thoughts, Kate opened her mouth to speak. "I'm going to ask you a serious question, and...," She paused, her lower lip getting caught between her teeth. Alexis nodded very slowly, urging her to continue. "I want you to be honest with me..." She finally finished. Alexis gave her a strange look.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be honest?"

Kate took a breath before speaking. "I-Is...Is my mom alive?" She felt like her heart was in her throat as she searched Alexis' face for any hint of what the answer might be.

The teen's face was neutral. It seemed like forever before Alexis finally answered her. "...Yeah...Of course she is." She drew out the words, confusion evident on her face. Kate let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding.

"S-she is?" she breathed out, eyes stinging with tears. Alexis automatically wrapped an arm around Kate and led her to one of the kitchen chairs.

"Mom?" Alexis gave her a questioning look as Kate tried to hold back tears. "What's wrong?" She asked, voice laced with worry.

Kate shook her head in a feeble attempt to regain her composure. Visibly swallowing, Kate began to explain. "I-I've come to the conclusion that...That this is a dream, because in the real world, in _MY_ world...My mother is dead." She swiped away a stray tear. "I don't think I want to leave this place." Kate whispered, taking a deep breath.

Alexis only stared at her, dumbfounded. "Mom, I don't understand...You're freaking me out. This is the real world." Her voice cracked slightly as panic began to set in. Something was obviously wrong with her stepmother.

"No, no, Lex. Don't try to confuse me. This, this is all a dream." She waved her hand in the air to emphasize her point, before rubbing her temples softly in an attempt to soothe the growing headache she was getting. Before Alexis could protest, Kate held up her hand. "I know you're worried, but I'm fine. Go on to school, or you'll be late. Okay?" She decided to leave Alexis out of this now, it would only cause her to worry and stress and Kate didn't want to be the cause of that.

Alexis stared at her a moment, silently debating what to do. "Are you sure you're okay? You seem-" She was cut off as Kate spoke once more.

"I'm fine. Just tired." Kate offered Alexis a genuine smile and stood up to pull the teen into a hug. Alexis hugged back and kissed Kate's cheek.

Sighing, Alexis pulled back and nodded. "Alright, but if you need me...Just text me, okay? Love you." She smiled and they hugged again before Alexis turned her attention to her siblings on the floor. "Hey guys, come give me a hug, I gotta go to class." She said as she knelt down to be eye level with them.

"Bye Lexieeee!" Olivia drew out the word and wrapped her arms around her sister tightly.

"Bye, I loves you." Mathew grinned and kissed her cheek and they both pulled back.

"I loves you too, Lexie!" Olivia stated, as if trying to out-do her brother. Alexis giggled and stood up.

"I love you both and I'll see you in a little while. Bye, guys!" Smiling, Alexis waved to the twins and her mom before opening the door and leaving for class.

**-C-B-**

Hearing that her mother was still alive was a serious shock for Kate and when Alexis left, she sat down and cried. She cried until the twins noticed their mother's quiet sobs and quickly came to her aid, hugging her tightly. Kate quickly recovered and assured her children she was fine, asking them if they wanted to go for a ride.

She needed to get out, drive somewhere. Kate had been driving for an hour now, not really paying attention to where she was going, just driving. She needed to clear her head, but as she drove through familiar streets and weaved through the little bit of traffic until she pulled into a driveway, two excited children in the back seat screamed, "Grammy's house!"

Their excited squeals brought her thoughts back to reality and she realized that she had driven to her parents house. Kate's hands immediately began to sweat as she eyed the house warily. Her heart thudded beneath her chest and she took a shaky hand and ran it through her hair. Taking a deep breath and letting it out, she plastered a fake smile on before turning to look at the two beaming kids in the back. "You guys wanna see grandma?" she surprised herself with how steady her voice was.

Receiving two excited nods, Kate smiled and killed the engine to the car. As she exited the car, she had to lean against it, feeling her head start to spin. With another deep breath, Kate shut her door and then opened the back door to the small SUV and helped unbuckle Olivia and Mathew.

Once Kate had helped them both out, she watched as they bolted for the door. "C'mon, mommy!" Mathew turned to look at her as he made a small fist to knock on the door.

Kate's eyes widened as she realized that once he knocked there was no going back. "Matty, wait!" She walked as fast as she could, but Mathew had already began to knock. As she came up behind them, the door opened swiftly, revealing the slightly older, but still beautiful Johanna Beckett. Kate's breath caught in her throat and her heart constricted.

"Katie, sweetie. What are you doing here?" Johanna looked puzzled, but a smile split her face as she noted the two children who were wrapping their arms around her legs. "Oh and look who it is! My two munchkins!" The woman bowed down slightly so she could hug her grandchildren.

The smile left Johanna's face as she looked up to see the tortured expression on her daughter's face. "Kids, go on inside. Grammy just made cookies. They're on the table." She looked down and forced a smile at them as they let go and ran passed her excitedly.

Kate could feel tears burning her eyes and a large lump in her throat. She hadn't seen her mother in years, she was supposed to be dead, yet here she was standing alive and well right in front of her. "M-Mom...?" Her voice was barely audible, as she choked out the word.

Johanna's heart tightened at the sight of her daughter's contorted expression. "Katie, darling, what's wrong?" She came forward and pulled the younger woman into her arms, hugging her tight. Kate stumbled, barely able to keep herself up as she melted into her mother's embrace. She inhaled deeply, immediately letting out a broken sob as her mother's familiar scent filled her nose.

"I...I-ve m...issed you s...o...m-much." Kate sobbed into her mother's shoulder, her grip tightened around the older woman as if she would float away if Kate let go. Johanna rubbed her daughter's back soothingly as she held her close and whispered words of comfort.


	8. Never Let You Down

**Authors Note:** _WOW. So many reviews! I can't tell you how much that means to me. I can't even reply to all of them. The more you review the more I write though. It's like an addiction. You guys want more and I'm like "I NEED TO WRITE MORE FOR THEM. D: MUST WRITE!" Anyway, sorry for these past two angst chapters, but hopefully it'll get a little more happier soon. I am so thrilled though with all the reviews. :D You guys are amazing, seriously. If you wanted me to reply to a review, just message me or say so in the review, so I know to message you. I just don't have internet so I have to come and sit out in my yard and mooch it off of a neighbor when I upload. xD So yeah that's the reason I'm not really replying to reviews like I normally do. ANYWAY, enough of my musings. Enjoy the story!_

**Disclaimer:** You caught me, It's me, AM...xD Yeah, just kidding. Lucky bastard. C:

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><p><strong>Chapter Eight<strong>

**Never Let You Down**

"Shhh, Katie. Calm down." Johanna soothed, they had been standing there for a little over 5 minutes now as mother attempted to calm down daughter. Kate took a shuddering breath as she nuzzled her face into her mother's shoulder, trying her best to calm down. pulling back, Johanna held her daughter by the shoulders and looked her in the eye before speaking softly. "Come, we need to talk." The older woman wrapped an arm around Kate's shoulder and led her inside.

Johanna motioned for Kate to have a seat on the couch. "You sit tight, dear. I'm going to get you some water and check on the twins." Kate simply nodded, looking a little hesitant as she watched her mother's retreating form. When she returned, she took a seat next to Kate and handed an ice water to Kate.

Kate grasped the cold glass in her shaking hands and brought it to her lips. She downed half the glass and set the cup onto the coffee table in front of her, never taking her eyes from her mother. Johanna watched her carefully, knowing that more grief was coming. "The twins are playing in their room." Johanna said idly, not sure on where to start. Kate just looked at her, smiling a little to herself at the thought of her kids having their own room here.

Sniffling quietly, Kate visibly swallowed. Johanna smiled sadly at her. "I assume you've come to the realization that...this is a dream." Kate felt her heart stop as her mother continued to speak. "I had to be sure that you knew, at the door. You had to figure it out yourself." Johanna pushed a strand of her daughter's hair behind her ear and let her hand drift back down to cup Kate's cheek. Kate leaned her head into her mother's hand and felt tears sting her eyes once more.

"Because you know I'm no longer of the living in the real world. This world is merely a hiding place, a way of dealing with what's going on with you in the real world. You have to face your fears, Katie and open your heart. I know you're scared, but this should all be an eye opener for you." Johanna watched as her daughter visibly swallowed.

Kate shook her head repeatedly. "N-No. I can't leave. I-I your here and-I have Olivia and Matty and-and-" she was stammering and Johanna hushed her by shaking her head softly.

"Katie, this world isn't real and it's flawed. It's not all perfect. And if you just let your heart have what it wants, Olivia and Mathew will come into the picture," She smiled as she said, "eventually." Kate bit her lip at her mother's words, letting them sink in.

Johanna grabbed both of Kate's hands and held them in hers. Kate took a breath before speaking. "H-How is this world flawed? It seems perfect to me. I-I have Castle and he's given me 4, if you count Alexis and this little one." She patted her belly before continuing, "Children and I have you. I can't lose you again, mom." She sighed, before speaking once more. "I don't want to wake up..."

"I may be alive in this dream world, but because of that, your father isn't alive here and all the good you did as a cop, never happened here and thus the many lives you had saved in the process were never saved. You can have Castle, and Alexis and even the twins if you let him in." Johanna explained, watching as her daughter's eyes began to tear up again.

"D-d-daddy's..." She couldn't bring herself to finish that sentence. She watched her mother nod sadly.

"Yes. And he needs you in the real world. So does Rick and all of your friends." Johanna thumbed away tears as they streamed down Kate's face.

Kate looked thoughtful, though tears were still streaming down her cheeks as she thought things through. Johanna was silent, letting her daughter contemplate all that she had said. After a couple of moments, Kate looked up and cleared the lump in her throat. "T-the whole reason I became a cop was to catch your killer and-" She paused to steady her voice, "and to help those like me, what if I can't stop him? What if I let you down?" Johanna's calm features hardened slightly as she shook her head.

"Katharine Beckett, you could _NEVER_ let me down. I am so proud of you. You have no idea how proud I am. You have blossomed into this amazing, strong willed and righteous woman. You give the dead a voice and help their families find peace.

"You have done so much good, Katie. You will find my killer, but don't lose yourself in the process. Your friends and your family came close to losing you, and if you don't wake up, they will." Johanna cupped her daughter's face and made sure that their eyes met so that Kate understood and saw how proud she really was. "I'm so grateful of you trying to solve my murder, but Katie..." She paused and let her thumbs rub circles into Kate's cheeks. "My death is certainly not worth your life. I'd rather you live your life happily with a family, and continue to be you than to have you lose your life in the process of trying to find out who took mine.

"Do you understand, honey?" Johanna watched her daughter grasp both of her wrists and pull her hands from her face to take them in her own as she nodded solemnly.

Kate took another shuddering breath before speaking. "I-I understand, mom." She smiled sadly at the older woman and scooted closer to wrap her arms snuggly around her mother and bury her face into Johanna's neck.

Johanna smiled and readily took Kate into her arms, running her fingers up and down her back and kissing the side of her head. "My sweet, sweet Katie. You know I'll always be here for you." She whispered softly, feeling Kate's arms tighten around her.

"I know, Mom. Thank you." Kate said shakily. Pulling back, they both stared at each other for a moment, Kate etching her mother's features into her memory and Johanna admiring how beautiful her daughter had become. Sighing, Kate wiped away the last of her tears and spoke softly. "H-how do I go...home?" She asked hesitantly, still not wanting to leave.

Johanna smiled and took her daughter's hands in her own. "You'll wake up when you're ready, Katie. There are things you might still need to realize. Just remember, that you've been given a second chance, don't push your feelings aside and don't forget about those kids in the other room." Suddenly things were beginning to make sense to Kate. Those episodes with Mathew, and then with both of them.

_You pwromise you wont fourget us? Daddy loves you, that's how we got here._ Mathew's little voice was like a broken record in her mind. She shook her head to silence his voice and bring her attention back to her mother. There was a knowing look on her face as she smiled.

"You should get going, Katie. Your family and friends miss you." Johanna stood, bringing Kate with her. Kate's chest tightened at the thought of leaving her mother.

She shook her head repeatedly, tears threatening to break free again. "N-No, No, mommy. Please. I-I can't leave." Kate's voice trembled as she spoke, looking at her mother dejectedly.

Johanna smiled sadly and wiped away the tears. "You can, baby and you will. I love you." The older woman brought Kate into her embrace, hugging her tightly as she added, "So, so much." Kate melted into her mother's embrace, yet again. She didn't want to let go.

"I love you too." She replied weakly through tears. She felt her body being gently pushed back as Johanna held her at arms length.

"Time to go, sweetie. Think of me always, baby." She smiled and lead her to the front door.

**-C-B-**

After Johanna practically forced Kate out into the car, Kate almost lost it; But once those two smiling faces came bouncing out of the house, she plastered on a fake smile for them both. As soon as Kate reluctantly pulled out of the driveway, the twins immediately noticed the changed mood.

"Mommy?" Came Olivia's small voice as she tried to sit up in her car seat to get a better look at her mommy. Kate looked at her daughter through the rear view mirror.

"Yes, baby?" She asked, her voice betraying the smile on her face as it came out hoarsely. Both Olivia and Mathew's faces screwed up at the sound of their mother's sad voice. They knew something wasn't right.

"Momma, why is you sad?" Mathew asked, licking his lips as he looked from his sister to his mom.

Kate looked back at them once she came to a stop light and smiled sadly at them. "We'll talk about it when we get home, okay?" She turned her head back around to look at the road.

"Is you leaving us, mommy?" Olivia's voice trembled as she spoke and Kate was amazed at how intuitive kids were.

Kate could see Mathew shake his head vehemently in his car seat. "No! YOU PINKEY PWROMISED ME, MOMMY!" He all but yelled, tears brimming his green eyes.

"Matty, calm down!" Kate felt her heart break a thousand times over at the fear in her son's voice. She wanted to pull over and gather them both into her arms but the traffic wasn't allowing it. Olivia wasn't as vocal as Mathew as tears streamed down her chubby little cheeks.

"Y-You said you wasn't going no-wheres..." Olivia whimpered, hiccupping tears. Kate felt her own eyes start to tear up. God, what was she supposed to tell them?


	9. If Only For Your Good

**Authors Note: **_Here you guys go. (: I can't think of anything else to say. xD Again thank you all so much for the feedback! It helps me write more. c: These chapters always seem shorter once I upload them here. xD In reality they're usually 2 and half to 3 pages long. I try to keep them 3 or more pages long. xP  
><em>

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. :c Except for Olivia and Matty. (:

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><p><strong>Chapter Nine<strong>

**If Only For Your Good**

As Kate pulled into the parking lot of she and Castle's apartment, she turned off the car and hurried to get out. She quickly rushed to opened the back door on her side to comfort the two distraught 5 year olds in the back. Unbuckling them both, she helped them out and then knelt down to be eye level with them; But as soon as Mathew's feet touched the ground he took off toward into the busy parking lot.

Kate's heart lurched as a car slammed on breaks to avoid hitting him. "MATHEW!" She screamed, pulling a sobbing Olivia into her arms and perching her onto her hip as she stood. She was thankful that Olivia wasn't very heavy. The little girl clung to Kate like she was her only source of oxygen.

Quickly, Kate moved to get to her son who was now standing at the door of their building. She nodded her apology to the driver who was shaking their hand at her but she didn't pay any attention to them as she came up to her son and set her little girl down to place her hands on Mathew's shoulders. Without meaning to, her voice came out as a yell. "Mathew! Don't you ever run out into traffic! You scared mommy to death!" She had tears in her eyes now as she forced the crying boy into a hug.

Mathew immediately pushed her away as best he could. "W-Why d-do you c-c..aree! You is l-l-leaving!" He sobbed. "Y-you don't l-l...ove us no more!" Kate's heart broke at his words. She looked to Olivia who was still crying but stayed silent.

Kate couldn't hold back the tears now as they fell down her cheeks. "Mathew Alexander Castle," She choked out, having to clear the lump that had formed in her throat before continuing. "I love you, and Olivia so much." She cried softly, reaching out to pull them both into her embrace.

Neither twin hugged back at first, but Mathew was the first to cave, being a momma's boy. He finally wrapped his arms around her neck and buried his face into it, taking comfort in her warm embrace and the way she smelled like cherries. Olivia was more reluctant, more stubborn. Kate realized Olivia was a lot like her, she didn't easily trust.

"Olivia, please." Kate heard herself beg. "You know mommy loves you both." Finally, Kate felt another pair of little arms wrap around her neck. Olivia gave in, needing to feel Kate's warmth as much as Kate needed to feel both hers and Matt's.

Kate smiled through tears and held them both a little tighter, kissing the top of their heads and sighing. "Can we go inside, now? It's cold and I-I-Mommy still needs to talk to you both." She said gently. Feeling two nods against her, she slowly pulled back and stood up, grimacing as she felt the ache in her ankles and back. Kneeling and squatting while you were pregnant was not comfortable.

Olivia grabbed one of her mom's hands while her brother grabbed the other. Kate led them to the elevator and watched as Mathew clicked the correct floor level before returning to hold Kate's hand. As they reached their floor, they walked in silence to the door. Kate unlocked the door and they each walked in wordlessly, Kate locking the door behind her.

Kate scrubbed her face with her hands before moving slowly to take a seat on the couch. She smiled as she eyed the two puffy eyed twins standing in the hall, staring at her. She patted the two empty seats beside her, motioning for them to come cuddle up with her. They each complied, Olivia sitting on the left of Kate, and Mathew on the right. As they both snuggled into either side of her, Kate pulled them both as close as she could.

A set of bright blue eyes looked up at her from the left and a pair of eyes almost matching her own looked up from the right. Sighing, Kate leaned down to kiss each child on the nose. This caused two matching grins and Kate's heart swelled at the sight. It was a welcomed sight after the tears she had caused.

"Do you both know how much I love you?" Kate mused, smiling sweetly at two of the sweetest faces she had ever seen.

Mathew looked thoughtful as Olivia tapped her chin. "This much?" Mathew moved so he could hold his arms out wide.

"As much as Matty loves 'pongebob?" Olivia added, a quizzical expression donning her features.

Kate chuckled at their explanations. "Much more than both of those statements." Both of their eyes went wide.

"Thas a lots of love." Matt pointed out, grinning. Olivia nodded, eyes still wide.

Kate smiled and held them both close. "It's true. I love you both more than anything. And I love your dad and Alexis just as much." She said, suddenly wondering why she was explaining this if it was a dream. A dream that felt so real, that maybe it was on some level. It was too vivid.

"But...You has to go." Olivia said in a sad voice that was so quiet, Kate had to strain to hear. The little girl looked down at her hands as they fiddled in her lap. Mathew brought his gaze to a spot on the wall.

Kate swallowed. She felt silly, but then again...She really did love these kids. She realized she really did love Alexis as her own as well. She wanted this. Wanted a family, wanted to be needed. Why was this so hard if it was just a dream? Kate realized she had been silent for longer than normal when she heard a soft, "Mommy?" from Mathew as he brought his gaze back up to her.

She took a breath and opened her mouth to speak. "Sort of...But, I wont be forgetting you." She said, watching them each carefully. "Things will be different when I wake up..." She said almost reverently.

The twins seemed to understand what she was saying, at least she hoped they were. They were the only ones, aside from her mother that seemed to get that this was some sort of dream. "You wont push us aside?" Olivia broke Kate's thoughts.

Kate shook her head. "No, baby." She replied softly. She watched as Matt let out a sigh, and Olivia seem to contemplate her answer.

There was silence for the longest time, until Mathew's hesitant voice filled it. "You pwromise?" He raised his brows expectantly. Kate hid a smirk as she couldn't help but notice how adorable he was.

Holding out both pinkies, Kate smiled. "I pinky promise you both, that I will not push you out of my thoughts." That earned Kate two bright smiles as both Mathew and Olivia interlocked their pinkies with Kate's.

**-C-B-**

Kate sat quietly on the couch, book resting in her lap. It wasn't one of Castle's books, since apparently he wasn't a writer in this dream Kate seemed to have conjured up, but at least it was keeping her occupied for the moment. She was so engrossed in the book, that she didn't notice Alexis come into the apartment and take a seat next to her.

"Hey, _Kate_." At the sound of her name, Kate whipped her head around with a baffled look. Seeing this caused Alexis to give Kate a similar confused expression.

"What'd you just say?" Kate asked, brows furrowing. Did she just call her _Kate_?

Alexis frowned slightly. "I said 'Hey, mom.'" She replied in a tone that matched her confused features.

"Oh..." Kate shook her head and just when she thought she was hearing things, she heard Alexis use her name once more, or so she thought.

"_I wish you'd wake up, Kate_. _Dad is a mess without you." _Again, Kate stared at Alexis with a quizzical expression.

"W-what did you just say?" Kate repeated her question from before., unsure if she was hearing things or not.

Alexis shot her another funny look and answered, "I didn't say anything, mom." Placing a hand on Kate's arm, Alexis looked at her with concern. "Look, you've been acting funny for days now. I really think we should tell dad what's going on." She suggested, softly.

Kate immediately shook her head. She did not need things to get even more complicated. "No, I'm fine. Lex, I'm fine. I just thought I misheard you, that's all." She said quickly. Alexis sighed, deciding to humor her.

"Okay, I wont say anything." She lied, thought hating to do so. She thought it was in her stepmother's best interest, but she didn't need to stress out over the idea. Alexis would just mention she was a little worried, that maybe her dad should keep an eye on Kate.

Smiling softly, Kate heaved a sigh of relief. "Thank you..." She replied quietly, placing her hand on Alexis's arm and patting it softly.

Alexis nodded and offered up her own smile, hoping she was doing the right thing and that Kate wouldn't get mad at her for telling Rick about her acting strange.


	10. Part Of Me Is Fighting This

**Authors Note: **_Sorry this chapter is short, but I felt that this was the best place to leave it! :D Good cliffie. xD HOLY SHIFT. You guys are just so fudging amazing. I read that someone linked to my story on tumblr! When I read that, I was seriously just awestruck! I was just like, SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. YOU'RE CRAPPING ME. WOW. I'm amazed and honored. Just wow. I appreciate it, and I hope I continue to wow you guys with this story! You guys=amazing. 'Nough said. _

**Disclaimer: **Let's not bring me off of my lots of reviews high by telling me I don't own Castle. -_-

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><p><strong>Chapter Ten<strong>

**Part Of Me Is Fighting This**

Rick Castle sat at his desk in his office, doing mindless paperwork. Setting his pen down, he sighed and scrubbed his face with his hands. He'd rather be at home with his family than here. Just as he was about to pick his pen back up and continue to fill out and check the seemingly endless boxes on said paperwork, his phone buzzed in his pocket, telling him he had a text message. He immediately pulled out his phone, glad to have a distraction for the moment and looked at the screen. The message was from Alexis.

_Hey, dad. I'm not trying to freak you out or anything, because Kate insists she's fine...But I'm still worried about her. She's acting funny. She said not to bother you, and I humored her and said I wouldn't say anything but my gut is telling me to be sure and just let you know. I figured better to be safe than sorry. _

Rick paled slightly as he read his daughter's long text message. He wondered why she wouldn't call him about it. Maybe Kate was around and she didn't want to upset her, or maybe Alexis really thought it wasn't too serious. Either way, it didn't stop Castle's mind from worrying about his wife. He quickly sent a reply back and then stared pointedly at the device in his hand, willing it to buzz.

_Is she ok? What do u mean? Should I come home? I noticed her acting a little funny 2, but she seems ok. Says she is. Thanks 4 letting me kno, pumpkin._

Finally his phone buzzed with his daughter's reply. His heart leapt in his throat as he quickly read over her reply, calming only slightly with her reassurance.

_No, she's okay atm. I just wanted you to know she was acting funny so you could keep an eye out. She seems fine right now. I just...I figured I should let you know. And you're welcome. Don't tell her I told you. Love ya. _

Alexis sighed as she set her phone down beside her and looked up at her stepmother who was back into her book, absently tracing shapes into her protruding middle. She felt slightly guilty for lying to Kate, but technically she didn't tell her dad exactly what was worrying her about Kate. So did it really count as lying? The teen sighed again. Yes. It counted in her eyes.

Kate looked up from her book, noting that that was the second time Alexis let out a sigh. "Lex, you okay, sweetie?" She asked softly, setting her book down.

Alexis whipped her head up at the sound of her name. "Huh? Yeah, of course. Everything is fine..." She was lying again. She hated it. Taking a breath, Alexis plastered on a fake smile. Kate raised an accusatory brow, her lips pursing together. Alexis almost faltered under her gaze, but stood her ground.

Kate continued to stare, before she narrowed her eyes at the teen a moment and scanned over her. "You know, I know your lying...But I'm not going to force you to talk, so I'm gonna go back to my book." She chided softly, emitting a sigh of her own.

Alexis visibly swallowed, silently thanking God that Kate wasn't going to try and break the guilt out of her. "I'm uh-Gonna go get my homework done." At least that wasn't a lie. She stood up and watched as Kate brought her green eyes to meet Alexis's and nod before she brought her gaze back to the book in her lap, but not before asking that Alexis please check to make sure that the twins were still asleep.

Alexis nodded and padded up the stairs as quickly as she could, before Kate tried to ask more questions of her. She let out another sigh, this one of relief. She hated feeling guilty. Walking quietly, Alexis checked on her siblings and noted that they were indeed still asleep. Satisfied, she headed down the hall to her room and proceeded to do just as she said she was going to do: Homework.

**-C-B-**

As Rick quietly entered the loft, a soft smile crept on his lips as he spotted his wife asleep on the couch, book resting open and pages down in her lap. He slowly made his way over to her, dropping his things in the chair next to the couch before kneeling down in front of her. He gently covered his mouth over hers, kissing her softly.

Kate didn't stir right away, so Castle kissed her again, this time a little harder, letting his hand gently caress her cheek. After a moment, he felt Kate's lips crease into a grin before her arms slinked around his neck and she kissed him back. The kiss was soft at first, but as her fingers entangled in his hair, he couldn't help but deepen the kiss.

His tongue danced across her lips, and she readily complied, granting him access. Their tongues fought for dominance, hearts pounding as things heated up. Every bare skinned area that Rick touched on Kate's body cause a trail of heat that coursed through her like wildfire.

Castle immediately remembered Alexis's text and he pulled back, their foreheads pressed together. "Kate...," He panted, trying to regain his composure. Kate tried to catch her own breath, her lower lip getting caught between her teeth as she tried to calm herself down.

"Yes?" Her eyes met his and for a moment they sat there in silence as green eyes bore into blue.

Finally, Castle broke the silence as he spoke. "How are you feeling?" He asked. Kate just stared at him. After that little episode it should have been quite obvious how she was feeling.

"You know, you keep waking me up in that way and then you leave me high and dry...You shouldn't do that to a pregnant woman, Castle. My hormones are on high alert. Do you like to torture me?" She raised a brow and sat up as he sat beside her. She crossed her arms and stared at him with annoyed look.

With a quiet chuckle, that earned him a glare, Castle shook his head. "Uhh-No...I just-I've just been worried about you and I don't want to hurt you." He replied, his voice slightly higher than normal as the look Kate gave him made him want to run and hide.

Kate rolled her eyes. "I'm pregnant not made of glass. I deserve a little attention. Am I not sexy enough for you anymore?" Now she was just screwing with him. She tried hard to hide the smirk that threatened to break the pissed off look on her face.

Rick's eyes widened and he held up his hands as if to surrender. "Wha? N-No! Of course not! I-I-I think you're gorgeous, Kate." He stammered, squirming in his seat. "I just-You-" He was cut off as Kate burst into laughter. He stared at her with a confused expression, and then he understood. He feigned a hurt expression and pouted. "You're so mean." He crossed his arms and gave her his best puppy dog look.

She giggled and rolled her eyes again. "You're too easy, Rick. Like you could ever stop finding me sexy." She teased, scooting closer and pressing her lips to his cheek. He smiled, knowing it was the truth.

"I love you, Katherine _Beckett_." Kate was about to kiss him when she noted the use of her last name...Not _his_...He should have said Katherine _Castle_...Pulling back from his lips, she stared at him with a confused expression.

"What'd you say?" She asked softly, a sudden dizzy feeling washing over her. She gripped Castle's arms and swallowed hard.

"I said I love you-Kate, Kate are you okay?" His voice became laced with concern as she swayed in her seat. Her face scrunched up as her vision blurred and everything started to sound as if it were under water.

"_Kate? Kate are you waking up?_" She groaned as she strained to focus her hearing, trying to make it sound as though she wasn't under water or on a cell phone that was breaking up.

"_I-thi-nk she's-Wa-king-u-._"


	11. Part Of Me Is Gone

**Authors Note: **_WOW_._ I am so glad you guys have liked this story. Now, I didn't read through this chapter so there are probably errors. I apologize. I just wanted to get it to you guys as fast as I could. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this last chapter. It was a little harder to write than I initially thought. I want to thank you all SO much, from the bottom of my heart for reading and reviewing. I'm just ecstatic. You all are so amazing. Now, I truly need your help. Should I end it here? Or perhaps if enough of you ask, I may start a sequel. Who knows. I hope you guys have enjoyed this as much as I've enjoyed writing it. (: Love you all! -Detective Apples/ Holly_

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Castle, or any characters related to it. Don't rub it in...|:_  
><em>

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><p><strong>Chapter Eleven<strong>

**Part Of Me Is Gone**

Kate grimaced at the burning sensation in her chest. Every time she took a breath her chest tightened and pain coursed through her. As her hazy mind worked to gather information, she began to hear things more clearly. The continuous 'Beep' of her heart monitor, and then there was the sound of his voice.

"Kate, can you hear me? I'll get a doctor." That was when she noticed a sudden coldness in her right hand. He must have been holding it, she thought.

"Ms. Beckett, can you open your eyes for me?" Kate didn't recognize this voice, but she tried to pry her heavy eyes open. She managed to open them once, but they immediately closed as the light set in. "Ms. Beckett, I need you to open your eyes." Came the unfamiliar voice once more.

Kate groaned and tried again, blinking furiously. A blurred figure swam into her vision and she squinted, trying to make the man out. "C-Castle?" Her voice was hoarse and she almost didn't recognize it.

The figure shook his head and then turned slightly to look at something that Kate couldn't see.

"I'm Dr. Lawson, Ms. Beckett. How are you feeling?" The man asked, beginning to check her vitals.

Kate swallowed, trying to cure her dry mouth before she spoke. "W-Where is Rick?" She completely ignored his question, her mind still trying to wrap around what was going on. She watched as Dr. Lawson turned again to nod at someone she couldn't see. Suddenly another figure came into view, only this time she recognized the figure.

"I'm right here, Kate." He murmured, his hand taking up resident in hers. Her breath caught in her throat as she took in his features. He looked rough. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he looked as though he hadn't eaten in a couple of days. His eyes were dark and didn't hold the usual mirth and excitement, only worry and concern.

Rick felt his heart constrict in his chest as Kate called him by name. He hadn't left her side for days, holding her hand and talking to her. When she started to wake up, he had never felt such relief in his life. He looked down at her and smiled, wanting nothing more than to gather her up in his arms and hold her close.

"W-what happened?" Kate stammered, grimacing at the pain in her chest.

Dr. Lawson stepped from beside Castle and moved to the foot of Kate's hospital bed. "You were shot, Ms. Beckett. You're quite lucky to be alive. Somehow, the bullet missed your heart by a hair. It may have been because of Mr. Castle shoving you to the ground, I don't know. Whatever the reason, you're alive. We managed to get the bullet out and to jump start the healing process you were put into a medically induced coma." Concluded the doctor.

Kate looked utterly confused as she looked between the doctor and Castle. "S-Shot?" She looked to Castle for conformation.

He nodded softly before speaking. "At Montgomery's funeral. Don't you remember?" He asked, staring down at her with concern.

"Everything is kinda fuzzy." She mumbled as she tried to put images together.

"That's to be expected. The medication we've got you on can make things seem a little confusing. How's your pain? Do we need to up the meds?" Dr. Lawson asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Kate shook her head softly. "It's bearable for right now, thank you." The doctor nodded to her and told her to buzz if she needed anything. Both Kate and Castle were left alone.

"I should let everyone know your up. We've all been worried." Castle said softly. He took out his phone and sent out a couple of texts before shoving it back into his pocket and bringing all his attention back to Kate, who had a far away look on her face. "Penny for your thoughts?" He mused, a small smile on his face.

Kate had been trying to differentiate her real life, and the coma induced dream. There was a small ache in her chest that wasn't from the gunshot wound. It was a longing to be back in that dream world. She briefly wondered if it had been real in some weird way, an alternate reality of some sorts. Castle's voice pulled her from her thoughts and she whipped her head around to look at him. "Huh?" She mumbled, green eyes raking over his gaunt looking face.

Castle took a seat in the chair he had occupied since Kate was brought here. "I said 'Penny for your thoughts'" He repeated, eyes searching for the clue in her eyes that would reveal what she was thinking about.

"Oh." She chuckled, which caused a pain in her chest and she scrunched up her face immediately. Castle leaned forward and gently squeezed her hand. She realized he hadn't let it go since he took a hold of it after she had asked for him. She gave him a sad smile and sighed. "Before everyone gets here, because I'm sure people are going to come...I need to ask you a serious question." Castle visibly paled at her serious expression. Here it comes. She heard him.

He had briefly wondered if Kate had heard those three little words before unconsciousness took hold of her, but figured she didn't remember. Now he wasn't so sure, from the look on her face. Little did he know, her question wasn't exactly what he was expecting and to say it shocked him was an understatement.

"We aren't married, are we?" Kate's voice was almost in a conspiratorial whisper, but her face was serious. Castle's eyes widened and his heart leapt in his throat. He visibly swallowed as he stared at her, unable to find his voice.

When Kate raised her brows, obviously waiting for an answer, he managed to open and close his mouth like a gold fish. "Castle!" She barked in a loud whisper, snapping him out of his trance.

"N-No! Why?" He stammered, his voice an octave higher than it normally was.

Kate almost looked disappointed at his answer. _Almost_, Castle thought as he watched that disappointed look on her face disappear as fast at had appeared in the first place. "I-I uhm-" She paused, her cheeks flushing. "I had a strange dream..." She admitted, lower lip getting caught between her teeth. She looked over at Castle and rolled her eyes. He was practically beaming.

"Why Detective Beckett-" Before he could come up with something to tease her, she held up her hand and shot him a look that immediately silenced him.

"But you did tell me...That-that you loved me. That wasn't a dream, I know it." She remarked, voice unwavering to her surprise. Castle swallowed hard. "Was it...?" She looked almost hopeful, and this time her voice did waver.

Castle looked down at their hands, surprised that Beckett had allowed him to continue holding it for this long. He took a breath, figuring that now was as good a time as ever, after all; He had wanted her to hear it, didn't he? Looking up, his eyes met hers and he took a moment to sink into her soft, hesitant eyes before he nodded softly. "I did...And I meant it." His voice was barely a whisper as he kept his eyes on her.

Kate felt her heart rise up in her throat and her stomach flip at his words. Her heart monitor began to beep faster as her pulse quickened, which caused her cheeks to redden. Biting her lip, she tore her gaze from his a moment before she looked back at him. Memories of her dream flashed through her head and before she was even aware of it, the words left her lips without hesitation, "I love you too." She watched Castle's eyes suddenly light up and a grin split his face.

"R-Really?" He looked a little unsure as he stared at her in disbelief. Kate grinned shyly and nodded.

"Yes, really." She replied softly, looking down at their hands as Castle gently squeezed hers. Kate looked back into his eyes as she spoke. "I do, but...I-we can't-" She watched his face fall and her heart tightened at the sight.

Before she could continue, Castle released her hand and nodded sadly. "I understand..." He mumbled, feeling as though someone had just ripped open his chest and yanked out his heart. Kate made a move to grab his hand again, but instantly regretted it as pain shot through her body. Tears sprang into her eyes as the waves of pain coursed through her. Castle immediately retook her hand, feeling her squeeze it as she rode out the pain, jaw clenched.

Letting out a breath, Kate gingerly brought up her free hand and wiped away the tears. "C-Castle..." She panted, gritting her teeth as the pain lessened. "I-I wasn't finished." She said, finally forcing her watery eyes open to look at the hurt on his face. His features softened as he nodded for her to continue. "We can't be together...Yet." She watched the hurt look be replaced by a look of happiness. "Josh..." Was all she said and that was all she needed to say. Castle understood.

He nodded and gave her a sympathetic and understanding smile. "Okay." He was just happy that he was going to be able to kiss her, hold her, that she would be _his_. She smiled at him and let her head fall back gently onto her pillow.

Feeling the need to lighten the mood, Castle asked in a teasing tone, "So...Exactly what was that dream about?" Kate turned to see a impish grin plastered on Castle's face and she rolled her eyes and shook her head in amusement.

Before she could utter a word, a group of people burst through the door.

"Girl, it's about damn time you were among the living!" Lanie beamed, hurrying over to the opposite side of the bed as Castle and leaning down to gently hug her best friend. Kate grinned up at Lanie and then shot Castle a smug smile, having escaped her dream explanation. He sent her a pout in return.

Ryan and Esposito were standing at the foot of her bed with matching big grins. "Seriously, Beckett. We missed ya." Ryan agreed, placing his hands on the foot of the bed.

Esposito nodded. "Good to have you back, Boss." He smiled, crossing his arms over his chest.

Pretty soon, Martha and Alexis joined the group and took turns hugging the detective. Kate felt a pang in her chest as Alexis reminded her of her dream and for a moment she wished to be there again. Castle noticed the far away look yet again and reminded himself to ask her about it later.

Jim Beckett was the last to join the group and everyone left to give the father and daughter some room to talk. Kate smiled up at her dad as he leaned down to hug and kiss her cheek. "You gave us all quite a scare, Katie." He said softly as he took a seat beside her bed.

Kate nodded and looked at him with an apologetic smile. "I know, I'm sorry." She watched as her father took her hand and gently little circles on her skin with his callused thumb.

"I prayed that your mother would look after you." He said with watery eyes. Kate swallowed, attempting to remove the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat.

"I guess she was listening." She said nervously, wondering if she should tell him of her dream. She quickly decided against it, figuring that maybe she should just keep it to herself.

Jim nodded and they sat in a comfortable silence until Castle knocked on the door and poked his head in. "I come bearing coffee." He smiled at Jim as he nodded for Castle to come in. "None for you, Kate. Sorry." He handed Jim his coffee and Kate narrowed her eyes at him.

"I'll come see you tomorrow, Katie. Love you." He smiled at his daughter and leaned down to kiss her forehead. "Thanks, Rick." He said as he patted the man on his shoulder before exiting.

As Jim left the room, Castle looked down and smirked at Kate. "So...The dream." He raised a brow at her as he waited.

Kate grinned and shook her head. "Nope, not telling you." She replied, sticking up her nose.

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"Nope."

"But-"

"Castle, _no_!" Kate watched the pout appear on Castle's face and began to wonder why she wanted to wake up so badly. The Castle in her dream was far less annoying. Rolling her eyes, she smirked. She could never get tired of _her_ Castle.

**THE END?**


	12. Epilogue

**Authors Note: **_Since I feel, that there is no more to this story, here is an Epilogue for you all. (: I really want to thank you all for the AMAZING reviews, and all the alerts. There may be a sequel or companion fic in the future, who knows. For now, here's a little something something. So far, I've gotten a good bit of demands to continue the story, but I just feel it's come to it's end. Like I said, perhaps a sequel. _

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Castle. 

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><p><strong>EPILOGUE <strong>

_**Exactly One Month Later**_

Kate Beckett sighed as she took a weary seat back onto her couch. Things had been a little hectic since she was able to come home from the hospital. She had been on strict bed rest, and Castle had insisted on staying with her. That was certainly an interesting experience. With Josh still out of town at the time, she needed someone to stay with and not only that, Kate would not allow she and Rick's personal relationship to progress until she had spoken to Josh. Face to face. And that was what she had just finished doing.

She felt a little bad when she saw the hurt look in Josh's eyes, but she felt that the feelings were mutual. Josh could see that they weren't going anywhere and they shouldn't keep stringing each other along. They had left on amiable terms and Kate felt good about that. Suddenly, Kate's phone chirped, bringing her out of her musings.

Gently, Kate eased herself up. She was still particularly sore when trying to do certain things and was used to avoiding the sudden bouts of pain she would feel which had gradually turned into more of a dull ache if she moved incorrectly. She gingerly reached for her cell phone on the table and glanced down at the screen.

A smile creased her lips as she noted the caller I.D read 'Castle'. As she eased back into the couch, she slid her index finger across the smooth screen to answer it. "Yes, Castle...You can come over now." She teased into the phone.

**-C-B-**

Castle anxiously waited for the elevator to reach him, and when the door finally opened to him, he took a deep breath before stepping on. This was it. Kate had talked to Josh, she was going to officially be _his_. Not that anyone could ever _claim_ the extraordinary Katherine Beckett, because she wouldn't allow that. Rick knew this, and that was one of the things he loved about her. She was her own person, strong willed and intelligent. It didn't matter what other people thought, Kate would always do what was right. She would fight for what was right. She was amazing, Rick concluded.

As the doors to the elevator parted, Castle slowly exited on to Beckett's floor and nervously made his way to Beckett's apartment door. As he reached it, he knocked gently and waited. He could hear shuffling and then the door swung open and he was greeted with Kate's smiling face. "Hey." She said shyly, bowing her head bashfully as she moved out of the way and allowed Castle in.

"Hey." Castle slowly entered and then turned to watch as Beckett closed the door behind them both. She turned to face him and for a moment, they both stood there, staring at each other. Their eyes raked over the others' body until Green eyes mixed with blue. They each shared a look, before Castle took two steps forward and gathered Kate gently into his arms and crushed his lips against hers.

Spending almost 3 weeks with the beautiful Kate Beckett, knowing how she felt about him and not being able to touch her was almost unbearable. Rick had to muster up all the strength he had to keep from kissing her and holding her when she was in pain. Sure, Kate had allowed a little cuddling here and there, but not enough to satisfy his need to be let her know just how much he loved her.

So, as he kissed her now he tried his best to poor his heart and soul into it. She practically melted into his embrace, forearms resting against his chest and hands slinking up to rest on his shoulders, Kate kissed him back with just as much passion. Rick had briefly wondered if it had been as hard for her as it had been for him the time he had spent taking care of her. As soon as her tongue ran over his bottom lip, he was sure it had been.

Their kiss deepened, Kate's arms beginning to circle Rick's neck as their tongues dueled. Rick pulled her closer, still being gentle with her wound that was still not fully healed yet. Neither pulled back until breathing was absolutely necessary. Their foreheads came together, breathing heavily as they tried to ease their pounding hearts.

Smiling, Rick pulled back slightly to look down at Kate's slightly swollen, pink lips. He smiled more and gently kissed them before pulling back again and staring into her eyes. God, she was beautiful. Kate smiled back at him as he stared at her. She could feel the heat rise up from her neck and to her cheeks, blushing under his gaze. The look in his eye was of pure adoration, and she knew it.

"Finally, I get what I've wanted for so long." Castle murmured as he leaned down to nuzzle his face into her neck. Kate giggled a little at the sensation of Castle's breath caressing the sensitive skin beneath her ear.

She nodded her agreement as she said, "Me too..."

Castle grinned at her as he released his hold on her, only to grab her hand and lead her to the couch. He took a seat and pulled her down gently with him. Kate settled herself in his lap and let her head rest on his chest, her legs stretching onto the couch and her arms encircling his waist.

"So, when did you finally wake up and realize that by not being with me you were missing out on so much." Castle smirked at Kate as she lifted her head and raised a brow at him. She rolled her eyes at his comment and sighed before resting her head back against his chest.

Castle waited patiently to answer, sensing that she was gathering her thoughts. Finally, hesitantly, she spoke. "In my dream..." She said quietly, feeling her cheeks reddened as she remembered waking up in the hospital.

"In your dream, what?" Castle prompted, his arms snuggling around her.

Kate took a breath and lifted her head to narrow her eyes at him. "We were...We were married, and-" She bit her lower lip, wondering how bad Castle was going to tease her. She looked up and saw nothing in his eyes that indicated he was going to do so, so she continued once more. "And we had twins. A boy and a girl, and I was pregnant with a son...Our son." She watched his facial features, but she couldn't quite put what that look in his eye was.

"It-It was so real, Castle. I-They were beautiful." Her voice was shy as she spoke, her eyes looking down bashfully before meeting Castle's, once more, searching...Castle continued to stare at her with a look she couldn't quite recognize, but she knew part of it was adoration. She took another breath before continuing. "And, I really wanted...Want, that." She finally admitted, and as she thought about it, she added, "With you..." As she noted his almost expressionless face, she felt her pulse quicken and nervous butterflies form in her stomach; But Castle's face lit up into the biggest smile that Kate had ever seen and she grinned back.

"I want that too." He whispered before he crushed his lips to hers, his hands entangling in her hair. Yes, he had wanted this with her for so long. He could barely contain his happiness, couldn't believe he was getting what he had wanted since he met the woman who had changed his life in so many amazing ways.

"I love you." Kate whispered as they pulled back.

Rick grinned at her and pulled her closer before answering, "I love you too, Kate. _Always_."

Always.


	13. Small updateAN drabble

**EDIT NUMBER TWO;**

HAY GUIZ. So, just to let you guys know...It's not a sequel, but I wrote a short little fluffy halloween companion fic to this with Olivia and Mathew. I did it for my birthday. xD It's late, I meant to write it sooner, but...Yeah. Writer's block is a fregen bitch. Anywhozles, if you wanna check that out, it's called "Halloween With The Castles" (: Enjoy, and I love you all! Still appreciate feedback or ideas, whatever. Or we can fangirl over Castle together, whatever! I like talking. Also, you can follow me on tumblr if you like. Normal-is-overratedx . tumblr. com. :P /shamless advertising. I'll probably follow ya back if you blog/reblog crap about Castle, Bones, or Once Upon A Time. (: Hehe. OKAY, enough spam. Thanks for reading. Peace!

**SMALL UPDATE TO THE STORY;**

Hello, all! So yes. This story has been done for a while, and I have yet to think up a good sequel, you are free to message me with ideas. I miss writing for Matty and Livvie. :c Little boogers.

Anyway, that's not exactly the point to this update...thing...I just wanted to let you know that I made a music video to this story. (: The Link is on my profile. So have a look.

If you guys seriously want a sequel(I really wanna write one), I've gotta get some ideas. I was thinking maybe Yeah Olivia and Matty should totally be born, whether they be twins or not...But the person who shot Kate hasn't been caught yet and suddenly resurfaces to kidnap some cute little Casckett babies? I dunno, kind of cliche. xD So you all should tell me what you want!

I'd appreciate some feedback from those of you who liked the story! (: Thanks bunches.

-Detective Apples


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